Army Strong

10)God was never by our side

We tried our best. Nobody can say we didn't try... But it was too late. We got to the base exhausted, with our feet covered in wounds, thirsty, hungry. We walked and ran non stop for those 2 days. We tried... But it wasn't enough.

We were sitting in the naked white waiting room, in the military hospital. Our uniforms still on, still dirty, still wet. Our bodies still exhausted, still hungry, still thirsty. No one said a word during those 6 hours. They were the longest of my whole life. It wasn't supposed to last so long... But it did and deep down I knew.

I saw the doctor walking towards us, his uniform still full of blood, his head low. He stopped in front of us and sighted. Mike got up and left right away. He didn't even wait to hear it. He carried him all the way, by choice... It was a punch in the face for him. Carl buried his head in between his knees. Samuel just looked down. Our Sergeant got up and punched the wall. Seeing all that, I stepped forward. I walked up to the doctor and shook his hand.

-Doc, how's he doing?-I asked. I thought I knew the answer but I was wrong. The doctor looked me in the eyes and put his hand on my shoulder.

-Are you the responsible one?-He asked me. I looked back at the Sarg. and then back at him.

-Yes, I am. I was in charge. How is him?

-Dead...-He told me, looking me straight in the eyes. I was shocked. Everybody was. We were expecting an amputated leg but never death! I just looked at the doctor and laughed, hoping he'd laugh along and tell me it was just a stupid joke. But he didn't.

-You're kidding me, right?-My eyes started filling with tears. He sighted and looked away.

-I'm sorry...-He whispered. Man, I was just shocked. The weight of the world fell on my shoulders!-You did a great job though...

-Yes, specially when I sent him to his death...-I turned my back on them and walked away.

I couldn't think. I was shocked, mentally petrified. How did a stupid exercise result in the death of an innocent kid?! What would his parents do now?! He was supposed to become an army boy, not go back home in a coffin! But he was dead and I was the one to blame... I had his blood in my hands. All his dreams, his future, everything he could've been was now an heavy load I'd have to carry for the rest of my life because, in the end, I was the one in charge. I sent him to that mountain. I applied that tourniquet. I should've blasted his brains right there! Because what hurt me the most was the fact that I made him suffer for 2 long days just for him to die anyway! I should've spared him! Or at least that was what I thought in that moment...

-Jones...-The Sarg. put his hand in my shoulder. I wiped my tears right away and cleared my voice.

-Yes, Sarg.

-Reunite your men. Let's go back to the base. I will have a serious talk with you all there.

-I lost Mike... But I'll find him.-I ran my hand on my face. I was still so shocked, I couldn't even function properly.

-Jones!-He shook me a bit.-Get your shit together!-I pushed him back, kinda aggressively.

-I'm fine! Just leave me the fuck alone, alright?!-I spoke, in between my teeth, trying not to blow up.-I'm gonna look for Mike. I'll find you in the base.-I turned my back on him.

-I'm waiting in the truck, Jones.-He warned me. I didn't answer.

I couldn't answer. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to face the boys. I didn't know what to do. I was broken. I could only think about the fact that I stole someone's future.

-Jones!-I heard Mike yelling when I was near the truck. Oh man...

-Mike, I was looking for you. Sarg. wants us...-He punched me right in front of everybody, before I could even finish. He hit me right in the jaw and made me take several steps back trying to keep balance. The boys ran to him and held him right away.