Army Strong

36)Grinding Season

Whoever thinks being a soldier is an easy way out of the routine, an easy job, an easy way to make money... Oh boy! Just don't. Being a soldier is above all, getting up even though everything in you tells you to stay down. We were dying. We had ran out of water 2 days ago. We were pretty much down to zero productivity. We were dragging ourselves across the desert, beat down to our fucking knees!

-Fuck this!-Richard kicked some sand and threw his gun as far as he could.-THIS IS BULLSHIT! I HATE THIS! I'M FUCKING THIRSTY! I WANT OOOOOOUT!!-I just ran my hands on my face.

-C'mon, Richard...-Taylor punched his arm, softly as Hunter picked up his gun and handed it back to him.

-It feels like we're walking in circles...-He let himself fall to his knees.-AND ITS SO FUCKING HOT!

-Keep moving.-I told them, not stopping.

-Excuse me?!-I sensed him getting back to his feet in my back and stopped right away.

-I said, keep moving.-I kept my tone normal and didn't turn around but deep down I was begging he would cross me. There was so much rage I needed to release!

-What if I say no?-He crossed his arms. I smiled and turned around.

-Well, then I guess I'll tell your family you were a pain in the ass!-He was pissed. Something inside of me clicked. What the hell was I even thinking...? I sighted.-Look, guys, I know it's hard! I'm right here as well! I'm not in some fucking office spitting orders like it's all fun and games! I'm right here! My feet, my back, my head, they hurt too. I'm thirsty as fuck too! And dear Lord, I'm so fucking sick of the heat... Jeez! I feel you, Richard! I really do! We all do! But, please! Stop complaining once for all! Stop throwing your tantrum every other hour because I swear I'm fed up with it! It's not like you're the only one who's pissed off! Hell, how many of you are afraid we won't make it out?! We all are! You're not the only one, Rich! So please, do us all a favor and suck it the fuck up! Keep moving!-I turned my back on him and just walked. I had no idea where I was going but I wouldn't get nowhere unless I kept searching.

-JONES!-Clark screamed! I stopped once again and closed my eyes for a while trying not to lash out.-What's the point? Soon we're all going to start crashing. Our skin is cracking already! The lack of water is gonna kill us! What's the point? What's the fucking point...

-It wasn't a suggestion, Clark. Keep moving! And that's a fucking order!-I kept going. They eventually followed me.

Soon, it was pitch dark. We were literally shacking! It's incredible, I swear... So hot during the day and so fucking cold during the night... It felt like the fucking desert was trying to kill us! We haven't had a single break ever since we left the base! I was so fed up! But so fucking fed up, you have no idea! I swore to myself the first thing I'd do when I got back was punch that motherfucker in the face and that was some damn motivational shit right there! Oh boy!

The guys were walking slow. Walking in the sand is awful, man. Every step you take, it feels like your legs weight 100kg! I don't know if it was the sand or the dehydration but damn, it felt like I had switched bodies with someone twice my size! I never really gave up, though. Don't mistake it. I'm no superhero. I just had something to prove, not to myself but to those following my lead. If I was all alone or someone else was in charge, I would've given up... But hey, leaders are supposed to lead, right?

I had been climbing the same hill for at least half an hour and it felt like it was never going to end! Jesus Christ! I got to the point where I started questioning my sanity! Was I really climbing it or was it all just some twisted mind illusion? I didn't know but I kept climbing it and thank God I did. When I finally got to the top, I rubbed my eyes, pinched myself and even slapped myself! I was almost 100% sure that was no mirage. There was civilization in front of my eyes and I just couldn't believe it.