Army Strong

14)Blood means nothing

Oh man... When I woke up in the day after, my head was a mess! The night had been crazy. My friends and I, specially I, drank like we were about to die. God only knew if I really wasn't... I looked around. My mom was sitting in a chair, looking at me. I blinked several times. It all still pretty blurry.

-Mom, what the...-I ran my hand on my face and then sat in my bed.-What are you doing? Do you even realize how creepy you look right now?-I asked her, in a jokingly tone.

-What if you die?-She answered, serious.

-What?-I was genuinely confused. I was still kinda drunk.

-What if you die there, Ellie? What am I supposed to do?!

-Mom...-I sighted.

-Don't! It's war out there! You're not gonna be training anymore! This is the real shit! What if you die? How the hell am I gonna bury you?!

-You're not. If I die there, I'm probably staying there lost somewhere...

-ELLIE!-She interrupted me. I smiled a bit.

-Easy, momma. I'm joking.

-You're joking?! Oh God...-She was pissed.

-Before you explode, let me speak.-She took a deep breath and stared me right in the eyes.-Alright...-I lighted up a smoke.-You see, I don't expect you to understand why I'm going. I'm not gonna waste time explaining it to be honest. I'm leaving in less than 48h and I sure as hell don't wanna leave mad at you.

-I'm not mad, Ellie! I just...

-Let me speak, mom... Please...

-Sorry. Go ahead.

-Alright. I'm not gonna explain BUT I can assure you it's gonna be okay. You see, I didn't even tell you...-I smiled a lot as the sweet memory took over me.-First to know about my decision where my friends... The guys I work with, the guys who I finished the course with. I was happy to find out our whole squad was going, mom. They said they wouldn't let me go alone so all of us applied. I don't know if you understand but these guys... Oh man... I'd give my life for any of them any time! And I know they'd do the same.

-That's bullshit, Ellie... Are you blind? You fend for yourself because they will do the same, believe me!

-No, mom.-I giggled, slightly disappointed.-You see, these are the things you'll never understand. We go in there as strangers but come out as family! At first, oh hell no! You wanna kill that guy? Go ahead, I don't give a fuck! But after everything we've been through, after so many nights keeping each other safe and warm, after sharing everything we had, after feeling in my skin what true team spirit feels like, after every single thing we've been through... Oh hell no! You wanna kill that guy? Not even over my dead body!

-How can you be so sure they'd die for you? They have families, Ellie!

-How do I know?-I laughed.-That's easy.-She looked at me. My smile was wide open, ear to ear.-I know because I'd do the same for them.

-You'd die for a stranger instead of coming back home to your mom?!

-That's the thing. None of them are strangers to me. They're my brothers. Do you even know how many times those guys shared their food with me when they didn't have to?! Do you know how many times they kept me warm in cold nights when they didn't have to?! Do you know how many fucking times they were crucial for me to complete the tasks I was given?! Do you know how many fucking times I did the same for them?! We've starved together when we didn't have to! I had a piece of bread. I could just eat it. Fuck them, right? But no. I'd rather starve with them than watch them starve. I shared the tiny piece of bread I had and we all starved! Together! That's the key word! Together! Because later in that night, we were all thirsty as fuck and water was running low. He could've killed his thirst. Fuck us, right?! But he didn't! And that little sip of water tasted like a piece of heaven to me! And it didn't kill my thirst, it didn't kill it for any of us! But it did gave us a sense of power. Together we stand tall because, in the end, that's all that matters! You've got your squad and you don't just want to go back home. Going back home isn't enough. You want your whole squad to go back home safe and sound. That's the real motivation. That's what keeps you alive and sane out there! That's the meaning of TEAM. Together Everybody Achieves Mores. TOGETHER!-I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.-I don't expect you to understand but that's how I know they'd give their lives for me... Because I don't need to think twice to do it for them. As long as we're together, we'll be alright. We're more than partners. We're family!-For some reason, I think she didn't exactly like what she heard. She just got up, left and slammed the front door.

My intention was never to hurt her but later on, she told me I had made it look like those guys were more important than she was. I didn't even know what to tell her. Nobody matters more than her, but those guys... They were pretty close to her level. If I didn't have to think twice to die for them, I'd die for her in a blink of an eye. The problem was that she wanted me to live for her and that's something I could never promise to anyone... I always was a trouble maker at heart, an adrenaline junkie but I was never a liar. I'd try my best to go back for her but if I had to stay there for my squad, I would.

I took a shower and went out to meet the boys. We had marked a family meeting so that our close relatives could get to know each other. You know, just in case... So they didn't have to stand the loss all alone. I was pissed my mom was still gone and not even picking up her phone. I thought I was gonna be the only one standing alone but I was damn wrong. As I got there, I saw some of the boys sitting at a table, in silence, drinking their beers. The mood was heavy...

-And me thinking I'd be hanging alone in a corner...-I giggled. They looked at me and smiled.-Your moms threw the tantrum too?

-Don't even ask about it...-Clark said, coming from behind me. Hunter was with him. I couldn't help but laugh. We all sat together. Eventually, the whole squad was together and only one of the boys was able to bring his girlfriend to the meeting. She wasn't happy at all and we kept mocking him the whole afternoon.

It was good to be around people who understand, who share the same vision as you do but soon it was time to go back home. Time flies when you're around those you love.

-Ladies, I gotta get moving otherwise my mom will literally turn into a terrorist!-I joked and got up.

-Want us to take you home?-Taylor asked. Oh man.... Taylor... I guess I need a chapter just for him because that boy was heaven on earth!