Half a Heart

chapter four

Jeremy and I parted our ways shortly after the episode was over. I was glad for it, because I was exhausted from all of these new beginnings. I know that I lost my memory, and technically nothing has changed, but I feel that I am a new person since all of this happened. I feel like I am not just the Natalie who jumped off of the roof of the apartments on river street.

Just then, I heard a sharp ringing noise coming from the bookshelf. Bolting from beneath my bed sheets, I stood upright for a few seconds. The air was cold against my exposed limbs as I walked towards the origin of the ring. It took me only seconds to find a dusty flip phone wedged in between The Edgar Allen Poe collections and some other old depressed poem. I carefully slid my fingers into the marigin in which the phone was stuck. When I had pulled the silver devise out, the ringing had stopped, but the phone number remained on the screen, so I returned the call. 

"......Hello? Natalie?" A male voice whispered brokenly from the other side. 

"Yes?" I replied, shakily.

 Quiet sobs came in through the other line. 

"L- Liam?" I stuttered. It was a long shot, but I decided to go for it. "I'm Here." My voice shook violently as I spoke, and I had no idea as to why.

"Yeah." He sniffed, trying to pull himself together... I thought. 

"Liam, It's me, Natalie." I smiled a little through the tears that ran down my face. Why was I crying?

"I made it." He replied, and hung up the phone. 

***

That night I could not find myself to sleep properly, and after about two hours of constant tosses and turns, I found myself grasping the phone off of the bed stand. Using its small light as a guide through the hallway of my darkened home, I made my way to the kitchen, and then the fridge. Countless cards and artworks covered the metallic surface, suggesting a peaceful childhood. hmm...

I ignored the thought of me ever even having a childhood, and opened the chilled door to the refridgerator's abundant contents. I reached for the first thing I laid eyes on, which happened to be a small tub of strawberry yogurt. Shutting the door as quietly as possible, I grabbed a small spoon from within one of the many drawers that lined the wall below the counter tops, and peeled the top from the yogurt tub. I glanced at the phone's brightly-lit screen. The time read 11:59. Almost midnight. Then, I shoved the spoon into the soft pink contents and ate by the light of a flip phone.

 I woke that morning in the same spot. a slimy spoon and empty yogurt tub lie next to my outstretched hands. I shivered, picking the items up, and tossing the tub in the trash, and spoon in the sink. 

"Good morning, lovely." My mother cooed from her location on the love seat, startling me a bit. I turned my head in her direction and smiled. I then turned towards the hallway and returned to my bedroom. I didn't even bother to turn the lights, walking straight to my unmade bed, and neatly folded the sheets. As I did this, I saw a small sheet of wrinkled paper slipped in between the seams of the comforter. I carefully pulled it out,  and read the nearly undecipherable  handwriting that undoubtedly my own. It read;

I was never your national anthem,

but you were mine.

your name was my definition,

but mine was not yours.

Liam.

Immediately, I bit down on my lip, hard. Throwing the note across the blossoming daylight, I screamed until my lungs hurt. Panicky foot steps ran towards my direction, and I quickly concocted an excuse for the irrational noise.

"Everything alright in here, Natalie?" My father stuck his frantic head through the crack between my door and the wall. I smiled, "Just needed to let it all out." He nodded, and retreated to the living room.  However, I remained in my quarters for some time, before deciding upon myself to join my family members in doing whatever it is that family members do together.  When I had finally made said decision, and entered the living room, I was greeted by forced smiles and kind words.

"Natalie, thank goodness you're here! We were just about to plan a family dinner at Nandos.." My father grinned rather expentantly, and I nodded.

"Sounds great." I said quieter than I meant. Still, They agnowledged my response, and my father continued reading the news as my mother knitted. My attention focused on my brother, typing rather lazily on his macbook. Without realizing how long I had been looking at him, He shifted his own gaze at me, and smirked; never ceasing to type. I rolled my eyes and went to prepare for our evening out.