a simple lined paper was left at the coffee table we used to sit at. we would play monopoly and go-fish, you let me win when you were in a good mood and that seemed to be always.
im sorry that you're reading this
my mind wondered to the kitchen, we would laugh and sing and i remember holding you close from behind when you made pancakes. you became skilled with flipping them while i anchored you in place.
i didnt know how else to do this, nothing i tried seemed right.
your necklace still stayed wrapped around my neck and although it was comforting i couldnt help but feel in constraining me, the latch was undone and i didnt bother catching it while it fell off.
its really not you, its me, which is cliche but i couldnt do it any longer.
the pantry was filled with silly snacks you insisted on having because you never knew what you were hungry for. any appetite i had in me was lost, and would be for awhile.
im sorry for wasting your time,
phone calls after phone calls were made and the ringing soon became haunting as i got your voicemail for the 5th time. the voice that put a smile on my face soon made my lips quiver and an ocean of tears cascade down my cheeks.
please forget about me, its for the best. i hope you achieve everything you want.
i gasped for air that was surrounding me, i found the self destruct button in me and all the memories of us pushed it. in a matter of 5 sentences with no explanation i was left with nothing to comfort me or hold me tight enough to glue me back together, instead the darkening thoughts creeped their way into my body that left me wanting to be nothing.
what did i do to make you leave?
YOU ARE READING
a collection of my thoughts
Randomthese are small writings i've created over a span of time and with encouragement i'm deciding to share them amongst anyone who'll read it.
