they asked me if i still kept in contact with you and my palms suddenly became glossy with sweat and mouth dry to the point a glass of water wouldnt suffice. the time traveled back and i was walking down a hallway with you, i could feel the vibrations that shook out of you and i could never imagine not being able to hear the repeat of your laugh. i never heard it again after i left. i felt the way your hair felt between my fingers and how hard it was to braid since the thickness but how i would never give up hoping it meant something to you. the feeling of how foolish i felt when i knew it wouldnt hit me harder than it should've and i wish it hadnt. you made me feel foolish and that was one thing i would never miss. i saw the hurt look in your eyes when we fought in front of everyone after swim practice one day. words tumbled out of my mouth and i could not stop the tears even if i wanted to. i remember wanting to make you hurt and feel the pain you caused towards me but i knew i could never hurt someone intentionally that i loved so deeply. we texted right after you left, you apologized and told me you would never hurt me again. you lied and i had never been more okay with it. i collected my thoughts blinking my now dried eyes. a clearing of a throat signaling me back to reality and i shook my head whispering "and im so glad we dont." and you would never know how much i meant it.
YOU ARE READING
a collection of my thoughts
Randomthese are small writings i've created over a span of time and with encouragement i'm deciding to share them amongst anyone who'll read it.
