♢Merlin Imagines & OneShots♢

[8] Merlin ◇ It was worth it

◇SUMMARY◇
Inspired by Twenty One Pilots' Trapdoor. Merlin is destroyed, but there is an eternity of constant and continious reconstruction.

◇NOTES◇
I'm TØP trash, okay

P.S.: very short

Noises, they were everywhere. Once upon a time, they suffocated him, but his ears have numbed over time. The only noises he hears are his own. Sometimes he thinks he hears the past, but he's smart, he knows his mind is only trying to comfort him through the years.  He bet that if he met other people, he might start forgetting his past, but maybe that's exactly why he's still so alone even after so long. Merlin feared losing Arthur and the knights again, he feared losing himself. It was too much for him to move on, to change and ignore Arthur's last wishes.

Yet as he stared at the cement wall opposite to him, his eyes were emptier than his past self could ever be able to posses. With these eyes, he could see the children playing amonst themselves, giggling and running through the empty halls happily. He could share tales with the men who tell no tales.

Much like these no longer living, Merlin could not move on to any kind of afterlife, nor was he still alive. It was a loop. He would walk into clearly haunted sights to contact long dead spirits, those who could not move on to the next life just yet. They were the only ones that could slightly understand the aged warlock, but even the dead eventually move on and there he goes to return to living territory for as long as he could handle, only to come back and suffer the same cycle.

Through time, he could no longer tell if a single piece of himself remained within him still, but he knew that he had somehow managed to cope with eternity. He tried what he once called a family but his life span was not a torch he could pass on. In the end, he found that it was for the best. He would not wish this fate upon anyone, not even Arthur. He's glad that he's the one who's had to live among human filth and sin instead of his king or his children. They lasted merely a minute on this Earth for him, but he made sure every second was Heaven on Earth for them. That is how he coped. Smiling and laughing with wounds that still bled just to pass it on. He found that Arthur's return was not his only reason to live. He lives for those who cannot live on their own and smiles for those who feel they can't. He lives to light a torch and keep it close to his chest, to push the fixed into life. It was exhausting, and when his time came, he would smile and say his goodbye's. "It was worth it" he will whisper as his daughter holds on to him. Wrinkles will finally settle onto his features and his hair will turn a misty gray. When that day comes, he will not be alone, for all the souls he helped and healed will hold him in an embrace. Soon, he will meet a different eternity.

It was worth it