Through the Dark | LT

Chapter 27

Louis turned to me, his beautiful blue eyes lookingly lovingly into mine.

"Megan, you're my best friend. You were a huge reason that I even auditioned for X-Factor. Having you at my audition, and at bootcamp... That meant the world. When I left to go on tour..." Louis paused, deeply sighing as he recalled all of the events from the past few years. He inhaled deeply, continuing. "... Management went through our phones and told us to only give our phone numbers to family members. I fought with them for a good hour, but they wouldn't let me give you my new number. We were so busy then... Recording What Makes You Beautiful in the US while being on tour... It was alot. They made us clean out our Twitters and Instagrams..." He stopped again, looking directly into my eyes. "But I'm not going to make excuses about why I couldn't and didn't keep in touch. I just want you to know that I tried. I tried so hard... But I just couldn't. When I found you on Twitter, it was right after you tweeted that thing about me." As I opened my mouth to inquire as to how he knew it was him I was talking about, he said, "Meg, I knew it was me. I know you too well." I looked down as Louis continued.

"The bottom line is... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there to walk the podium and graduate from Hall Cross. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you comitted to your college. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most... I'm sorry I wasn't there for you like a real best friend would be. I understand why you don't trust me..." Louis grabbed my hand lightly, and I was surprised by his touch. He finished, saying, "... But know this, Megan. If management tries to take your number out of my phone, the boys and I agreed to gang up on them. If they try interfering with our friendship, they're gonna get it. I'm back, and I'm here to stay Megs... Please believe me."

Louis' eyes pleaded emotionally with mine. He was begging me to trust him again. I wanted to, with all my heart. After these past few months, I was almost convinced that Louis was back to being my normal, not-famous best friend... But something about our relationship had changed... Not just the fact that I didn't trust him. There was something much deeper than that.

"Louis... I feel like our friendship is growing apart."

I looked up to see Louis' eyes full of pain and hurt. I immediately began mentally smacking myself for even saying that... But it was true. Louis looked at me and asked, "How do you think it is? I want to fix it." His blue eyes softly pleaded with my green orbs, and I was lost in the emotion and love that Lou's eyes held. He really was like a big brother to me.

"Megan... Even though I'm famous now, that's not going to interfere with our friendship, I can promise you that." He said confidently. I could feel a spurt of the old Louis coming back in that statement, and I smiled weakly. "I miss how we used to be..." I croaked, and Louis looked at me intently. "What do you mean, Meggo?" I took a deep breath and said, "Ever since you found out about..." I trailed off and clammed up. Louis said calmly, "Look at me, Megan." I looked up at Louis. His gaze held mine, and the next words that he said made my doubt and worry of me ever losing him go away, and it reignited our fire of true friendship for all these years...

"Megan, you honestly think that I think of you differently because of what you're going through? You think I look at you like a crazy lunatic and a freak because you selfharm?" I nodded, and Louis looked at me with a stern expression of love. "Well you're wrong. I love every little thing about you. Nobody's perfect, love. I'll always love you and be your big brother, no matter what. I don't look at you differently at all. In fact, it makes me love you as a sister even more, because I see how much you've needed an older brother figure like me. I see how much you need the laughter and smiles, but I also see how much you need the shoulder to cry on. The fact that you're battling all these things in your life makes me respect you so much more than I already did. You think that your struggles and your scars make me look at you in a negative way, but really, I look at them as motivation to never let you go again. I look at them as a sign of how strong you are, and how much I want to be the one to help you conquer this. All of your imperfections are perfect to me. I want us to be as close as we were before X-Factor even happened. I missed having you as a sister... And I missed having you as a best friend. I have so much respect for you, Meg. I have no idea how hard this is for you, and I can't even come close to imagining the daily struggles that you have... But know one thing...

I will always be here for you. I will always love you, and I will always protect you. I'm here to stay, Meg."