Through the Dark | LT

Chapter 30

It was around 2:45am, and I heard light snores and breathing from around the house. The waves calmly came upon the shore, and the resundant noise was relaxing. I was shaking nervously as I walked down the hall and to the kitchen. I opened the fridge, grabbing a cup of iced tea and drinking it. I finished it, and I took a deep breath.

I had to do this.

I walked back towards my room, but I stopped at the room before me. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I opened the door quietly, not wanting the hinges to squeak- and they didn't. The moonlight gently beamed onto the bed, illuminating the person who I was looking for. I began approaching the bed quietly, not wanting to startle their slumber. I calmed myself yet again, and I forced the whisper to escape my lips.

"Louis.."

I saw him fidget around, and I knew he was waking up... He turned over and continued sleeping. I took a deep breath again- I could cower out of it now. I didn't have to do it. Before I could change my mind, I involuntarily whispered again.

"L-Louis..."

This time my voice quivered, and I saw Louis turn towards me. He slowly opened his eyes, and he groggily looked at me. "Meg, why-" Before he could finish his sentence, he saw the look in my eyes.

It must have looked like desperation or fear, like I was a deer in the headlights. Louis sat up, his eyes becoming as alert as his body would allow him. He glanced at the clock and looked back at me. "Meg, why are you in here at 3am... Are you okay?" He asked me, concern filling his eyes. His hands engulfed in mine, and I took a deep breath. This next sentence was the hardest sentence I have ever said in my entire life.

"I-I want to r-relapse..."

My voice trembled in what I though was fear, but Louis knew exactly what it was. It was vulnerability. He put his arms around me, and my head fell to his chest. A tear escaped my eye as I whispered, barely audibly, "I'm sorry."

Louis' hand was rubbing circles on my back as he kept me in his warm embrace. "Megan," He comforted me quietly. "I'm so proud of you. It took you so much courage to come and tell me. I'm so, so proud of you." He said, his voice filled with definition. He sounded like I had made him happy... I could hear the pride in his voice.

We separated, and I looked at him. He saw my weakened emotional state, and at that moment, he could tell I was still at risk for relapsing. He held my hands in his, and his eyes gleamed into mine.

"Let's go outside for a little while, okay?" He said softly, and he followed me back to my room as I slipped on my flip flops. He put his arm around me protectively as we silently walked outside, feeling the Carribean breeze gently hit us.

At this moment, I realized that Louis was the reason that I tried. He was the reason that I hadn't actually jumped at the Thames that night. He was the reason I hadn't attempted anything else. He was the reason that I kept holding on. He was saving me.

And I vowed to myself, as we walked to the campfire pit together, the stars shining down and the waves gently rolling into the beach...

I vowed to myself that I wouldn't let Louis down.