The 100 Walking Dead

Part 34

Bellamy

"I'm worried about her," Imara said to me as we both leaned against the white picket fence that guarded the cabin's back garden. We watched Daryl, Octavia, Nick, Michonne, Riley and Murphy head into forest, hunting for food. Me and Imara had grown close over the past week we spent together in the cabin. It's been a week since Melody died and every night since I've spent it with Imara, holding her in my arms as she cries over Melody and Riley, blaming herself. But Riley, she hasn't spoken to anyone. She spends her days out in the forest and her nights curled up on the cold bathroom floor.

Imara looked into my brown eyes and I gazed into her blue ones, she chewed her pink lips as she continued, "I know she blames me. I don't blame her. But she's just being so - so quiet, I want her to scream and shout or something. But she won't. She just sits there or walks out there, not talking to anybody. Not to Daryl or Murphy. Nobody."
I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her body into mine, she still hung her arms over the fence, she stared at the grass, "I just, I don't know what to do. Melody wouldn't want us to be like this. She knew I did my best to protect them, to protect them both. And I know I could've shot a few walkers or gone to try and save her, but she was trapped. I would've died trying to save her and then Riley would be on her own. And we always said, always, that no matter what happens we keep her alive. It's what Melody wanted."

I put my head next to hers and comforted her, "It's not your fault. And Riley will come around-"
"Like Octavia has?" Imara half-snapped, facing me, before shaking her head and resuming her original permission, she apologised, "I shouldn't have said that. We all make mistakes and make bad decisions."
I nodded, "Yeah, we do. And what happened with you and Melody and Riley, it's different from me and O."
Imara shook her head and stood up, folding her arms as said, "It really isn't. If you didn't side with Pike, then you wouldn't have raged against your allies and then Lincoln wouldn't have had to sacrifice his life for you. And if I tried to save her, if I had charged into those walkers and tried to drag her out of there, then she might be here. Or at least I'd be dead and Riley would be happier."
I shook my head, "I never said what I did wasn't wrong, because it was. But if you tried to save her, you could've died. Riley is grieving, like Octavia is, she will come back. You've just got to show her that you care and that you're there for her."
Imara shook her head and turned to rest on the fence again, she put her right hand on the bridge of her nose and I saw tears roll down, "You don't get it. Octavia blames you for one person. Riley blames me for the death of our mother and baby sister and now of her girlfriend. How can she forgive me? She's right." She paused and then mumbled, "Maybe I am nothing. Maybe she'd be better without me."

I put my hand on her shoulder and comforted, "Hey," Imara looked at me, her blue eyes streaming, "She needs you. And none of that was your fault. And you can cry about it, or you can step up and be there for her. But you've lost somebody who was like a sister to you too and you need to grieve. Riley isn't the only one in pain. Melody wouldn't want you to blame yourself."
Imara slowly nodded and stood up straight, her voice hoarse she said, "I'm sorry for being a bitch back in the warehouse. I just, I just didn't want to make friends and have a repeat performance of what happened back in Chicago, after the quarantine broke down. We lost lots of people. I pretended I didn't care, but I did. And I miss them everyday. I don't want Riley to become like me. She can't become afraid to love and bond. She just can't." Imara broke off, tears falling.

I pulled her into my chest, wrapping my arms around her, her tears soaking my shirt. One arm wrapped around her back, the other held her head into my chest, her golden hair in between my fingers. Her hands rested on my back and her body shook slightly as she sobbed. "I miss her so much," Imara cried, "She deserved so much better. And so did Lucy and Delilah. I let them all die... and now - and now Riley, she won't even talk to me."
I held her close and whispered, "You've got me."
Imara pulled back a little and looked into my eyes, "What?"
I smiled, "You've got me and I'm not letting you go."
Imara shrugged, smiling, "You don't even know me."
I smiled, "Well, I can get to know you. It seems we're stuck with each other for a little while longer."
Imara smiled, "I'd like that," she then kissed my cheek, looking back at my face. I tilted my forehead to rest in hers, her hands on my face as I gazed at her lips, she looked at mine. I shut my eyes as we connected.