Dawn pulled her car up to Richard's apartment and turned off the ignition. Memories of her dreams still haunted her. She opened the car door and walked to the elevators, feeling the slightest bit dizzy. She inhaled deeply as the elevator landed just outside Richard's door. She leaned her head against the cool wood for just a moment before knocking as quietly as she could. Within seconds, Richard opened the door, in navy blue silk pajamas and his highschool tshirt over his chest. Dawn laughed, walking into the apartment, inhaling what smelled like movie popcorn.
"Trying to bring me down memory lane?" Dawn laughed as she made herself comfortable on his living room couch.
Richard looked down at his shirt and laughed, moving to sit next to her. "Nah, just brings me back to the good ole days. Look, when I got home tonight I kept thinking about the way things have been in the past weeks between us and I wanted to apologize. I totally respect the fact you're with Martin and I'm sorry I ever tried to convince you that you had feelings for me when you don't," he said wholeheartedly.
"I understand. I mean we have a past, we've been through a lot together, we've seen each other’s bad days, good days, each other mistakes..."
"Yeah like I never told you how I really felt?”
"shoot! So why did you never say anything to me? I don't think I'll ever understand that, if you loved me, if you dated other girls but me, why play it off for years? Didn't you ever see ‘Can't Buy Me Love’? You fake an argument, anything to make people think you were over. I just don't see how you can let your popularity take over what you really wanted when it came to love," she reasoned, trying to understand him.
"I honestly don't know. I mean, popularity may not have meant a lot to you, but to us, it was like we had to do what other people wanted. You date the most popular girl in school because you two look good together. Like everybody expects that the most popular girl and boy in the campus are expected to be a couple.. I know it doesn't make sense, I understand now how wrong I was and I wanted to apologize. I never meant to hurt you, you have to believe me," he pleaded. "I never meant to be dishonest."
"I know. And now it's my time to tell the truth. Richard, Martin and I had a huge fight tonight. He's jealous of you and I, and I couldn't take the arguing and so I walked out on him. And I don't know," she stated, getting up to pace, "Maybe he's right. Well no, I *know* he's right. I love you. Heck, I have since I was highschool and I never stopped. Now, I denied it because I had to, because I was involved and then engaged. And I'm sorry I lied to you about that. But the thing is... I love Martin as well. I don't know if what I feel for you is in the past and now that you want me, I want to live out my teenage dreams or if what I feel is now in the present."
"Well why don't we see," he whispered walking up to her and placing his right hand on her cheek. He felt her face for only a moment and kissed her lips softly, the kiss deepening as seconds past. The sound of Dawn's cellphone alarmed the both of them and Dawn winced picking it up.
"Hello?"
"Dawn, we need to talk, please," Martin pleaded through the phone as Dawn's heart tore in half for two men... one of the past, one of the present... and the choice of one for her future.
********************
"Please meet me back here," Martin pleaded as Dawn's eyes stayed firmly locked with Richard's. Her heart was telling her to stay with the man she'd always loved, yet her mind told her to leave for the man that had always loved her back, no matter what the circumstances. Richard watched her attentively, as she tried to make up her mind.
"Dawn? Are you there?" Martin called into the phone.
"Yes I am here..."
"Are you alone?" he asked curiously, sensing that she just might be with the one person who'd turned things upside down for them, after only reentering the scene two months prior.
"No..."
"Are you with *him*?"
"Martin, pl-"
"Are you Dawn?" he asked once more, his tone more firm this time.
"Yes."
"Well then, I guess there's nothing for us to talk about then. I hope you two have a very nice life together. Goodbye Dawn, and congratulations on your win. You sure were one hell of an actress to pretend to be madly in love with me over the last five years," he yelled.
"Martin, please don't-" Daawn pleaded into the phone, but realized her cries had fallen on deaf ears when she heard the sound of the dial tone coming from the other end.
"Dammit! I have to talk to him!" she exclaimed, as she reached for her purse, and headed towards the door.
"Wait a minute, you're leaving me for him after you just admitted to me how you really feel?" He called out, as she turned back around to face him, and saw the hurt in his eyes.
"Richard you don't understand. I can't hurt him, I love him too much for that..."
"But it's okay to hurt me?" he asked as he moved closer towards her.
"For God's sake, that's *not* what I meant. I love you, too, but think about it from *my* point of view right now. He’s always been there for me. Popularity or no popularity, hit show or no show. He’s never been ashamed or embarrassed to admit he loves me, and now I have just *ripped* his heart out. I can't sit here and be with you when I know that he is hurting right now!" she screamed, completely frustrated from being in the middle of this tug of war between the two men she loved most in the world.
"But what about *my* heart, huh? Was that ever held in to consideration!"
"No, the same as mine wasn't when you, Mr. Popular, didn't even acknowledge the fact that I was alive, let alone head over heels in love with you in highschool!" she screamed, as tears streamed down her face.
"Dammit! I thought we had gotten pass that! I told you I was sorry, and I know now that what I did for my own reputation was the *biggest* mistake I'd ever made because it caused me to deny my love for you. Now, when we are both open about it, it's getting torn away again, and it kills me to think our chance at happiness might have been missed because of my own stupidity!"
Her heart broke as she watched the tears from in his eyes. He was like a sad puppy, she couldn't help but want to console and care for him.
"If it was another time and under different circumstances..." she said wholeheartedly, as she continued to weep, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He shook his head, and lifted her arm away gently.
"Yea, you and I both, but it's not." Walking to the door, he held it open, as he wiped his own tears away with the back of his hands. "Go ahead. You were right. He always loved you. Which is more than I can say for me."
Dawn just stood there and watched him for several moments. She then finally headed towards the door, stopping where she was to caress his cheek lightly. She leaned up slowly to place a tender kiss on his lips, and when she got no response, she pulled back and walked away, not only from the room, but from the man who had been her past, who she wanted for the present, and her hope for the future.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Hello?" an extremely exhausted Richard called into this cell phone, hoping deep down that it was Dawn calling to say she'd changed her mind. Even though it might not have been the pleasant surprise he hoped for, he was about to get the shock of his life.
"Richard?"
"Speaking."
"Oh my, it's been so long. It's Victoria. I heard all about your new show and win. I couldn't resist calling up to congratulate my college sweetheart..."
