The Disconsolate Maiden

Chapter Ten

Homura, after having cooked a fine dinner of perfectly made omurice, she found herself cleaning the dishes as usual as her mother sat down in the living area, staring at the bright television in the dark.

"Mother?" Homura asked, trying her best to not cringe in pain as she plunged her hands into the steaming water filled kitchen sink. "Would you like some green tea? Do you need the lights on? Do you want me to go fetch your slippers? Do you feel hot or cold, would you like me to fix the temperature?"

Homura peppered her frail mother with questions.

Mrs. Kanojo don't turn from the television, completely fixated on whatever was showing on the illuminated screen.

Sighing, Homura grabbed a scrub and continued to wash the dishes.

Craning her head around, she looked at the time.

"Seven o'clock..." Homura thought sadly, gently placing one of plain, white dinner plates on a soft, green towel. "Father is late again. I wonder if he got stuck in Shibuya...the trains are always busy around this time of day, and if he worked over just a little bit, he won't be home for awhile..."

After having washed the dishes, Homura removed her light blue apron, which she had cooked in, and approached her mother.

Sitting down next to her on the sofa, Homura stared at the television with her for just a few minutes.

"It looks like there will be strong storms tomorrow!" a lady on the news said with a huge, fake smile, like all people on the news seemed to have. "Make sure to bring an umbrella! We were lucky the rain didn't come today!"

"Did you hear that?" Homura's mother asked, looking slightly up at her daughter even though they were nearly the same height, not to mention, they were sitting on their sofa. "Be careful tomorrow, Homura. It might rain."

"Yes, Mother," Homura said, dipping her head in respect. "I will be as careful as I can be. I also promise I won't be so terrified of animals. I'll be sure to be here on time tomorrow."

"It's quiet enough without..." Mrs. Kanojo began, then stopped herself, smiling, though Homura could see the pain behind her gray eyes. "You can do your homework now, my daughter."

"Yes, Mother," Homura said with her usual respect, bowing as she stood up. "I will."

Homura sat down at the desk in her room just a few seconds later, flipping through her notebook. Suddenly, she remembered she hadn't gotten any of the notes from the morning, because she had been passed out and resting the entire time.

"Oh no..." Homura whispered to herself, pulling her nearly dead phone from out of her desk. She hated using her phone. She despised the technology with a passion. All it ever did was make the girls at her school appear to be filth. Homura didn't want that for herself. She had better things to do with her life.

"Oh right..." Homura thought, tears of frustration in the corners of her eyes. "I don't have friends, meaning there's nobody to text. I guess that's the consequences of being too different. I'm unacceptable here at this new school..."

Homura, despite hating her phone, decided to look up the name of the boy who had spoken to her during school that day. The boy who saved her life.

"Jyu...shi...matsu..." Homura quickly typed in the kanji, then realized she didn't know the boy's last name. She couldn't recall if he had told her either. The entire day had been one huge blur of bleh for Homura.

"Wait," Homura whispered, finding that the name 'Todomatsu' came up as a result. "Isn't this...one of his brothers...? It looks like him..."

"Homura," a stern voice suddenly said, walking in her room. She hadn't realized her father had arrived him. "What are you looking at? Why aren't you doing your homework? What about piano? Have you even practiced today?"

"N-No s-sir..." Homura quickly replied, closing the web browser on her phone, handing it over to her father. "I was trying to contact someone, anyone from school so I could get the morning's notes for my homework..."

"Oh. I don't care," her father spat, throwing her phone onto her desk without a single care in the world. "You don't deserve friends anyways. It's amazing how your mother even cares about you. I'm sure that will change sooner or later. You're nothing but a disappointment to this family. Being obsessed with idols? Pah! Who even gives a rip?"

Homura sighed quietly, taking in each and every word her father threw at her, knowing all of it was true.

"Also, if you're late getting home ever again, young lady, I'll have a talk with the principal about where you've been, because it wasn't at home. What would have happened if your mother fell? What if she had died? You wouldn't have known. You were off doing who knows what," Mr. Kanojo yelled before he stormed down the hallway, but not how Naomi would have. It was more of a, 'I'm so angry and disappointed with you' kind of storm. And that was the kind of storm Homura hated the very most.

"I'm sorry..." Homura thought, her limbs trembling as she shakily picked up her pen, attempting to do her homework. "I know I'm a disappointment...I know I'll never be who you want me to be...I know I'm the daughter you didn't want to live.."

A single tear ran down Homura's cheek, splashing onto the thin notebook paper in her homework notebook.

"Why am I so weak...I'm not supposed to get upset by words like those..." Homura scolded herself as she bit her lip, holding back a sob.

Homura grabbed her right hand with her left hand, trying to stop trembling.

"I'll never be good enough...and I'll never ever live up to your expectations no matter how hard I try...I guess what I've been doing hasn't been enough..." Homura thought, trembling so much that the pen looked like a possessed demon as it twitched about in her hand.

Then, the pen slipped from the depressed girl's hand, falling to the floor.

Whimpering quietly, Homura threw herself over her homework, hiding her face in her arms to muffle her distressed cries.

"Why couldn't I have been the one who died?" she thought as she felt loneliness begin to wrap its cold, icy fingers around her frail heart.