The Disconsolate Maiden

Chapter Forty-Six

Letter in hand, Homura stepped off of the train for the second time that night. Now that Jyushimatsu thought she was gone, though she was back at the exact same station in Tokyo, she would be able to go through with her plans.

After exiting the station, Homura looked both ways before she crossed the street. Carefully, she snuck past the Matsuno home, dropping her letter on the front porch rug, though she made sure it wouldn't get wet. She knew Jyushimatsu would probably want to read it. Maybe not, but it would be strange if he didn't.

Taking off as fast as she could, Homura ran to the beach, stumbling through the wet piles of sand.

"It'll be alright, it's almost over..." Homura thought to herself as she struggled to climb up her cliff since it was slippery from the rain, which had stopped an hour ago.

Boots shuffling along the smooth, cliff top, Homura walked to the edge of it, looking behind her, making sure nobody else was there to see her.

"I'm coming, Yuka...and you too, Mother...." Homura smiled bitterly. "It's okay to leave the world this way, isn't it? Right...?"

Part of her boots were already hanging off of the edge of the cliff as a crack of lightning dashed down the sky like a race car.

"It's beautiful..." Homura said, grasping her white shirt where her heart was. "It's a beautiful final sight, isn't it..? And nobody will know I'm gone...nobody, right..?"

Just as Homura was about to jump, a desperate sob echoed through the air, even silencing the waves for a split second.

"HOMURA DON'T GO!" Jyushimatsu yelled, tears flowing down his cheeks, a piece of paper in his hand.

It was as if time itself had stopped for a few seconds.

Turning around to face Jyushimatsu, Homura smiled, waving at him.

Abruptly, the man began to climb the cliff, but he was far too late.

"We'll meet in the next life, okay?" Homura said with a smile before she backed up, falling off of the cliff to her death.

There Jyushimatsu stood, absolutely helpless and depressed for the first time in his life. And it definitely wasn't going to be the final time he experienced such sorrow.

Weakly, he staggered to the edge of the cliff, praying the girl would still be alive, hanging on to fool him.

She liked jokes too, didn't she? Surely she wasn't just gone like that.

Jyushimatsu couldn't face the truth at all, but he knew he would have to.

With regret in his heart, Jyushimatsu looked down at the letter Homura had written him, his tears nearly soaking the paper.

A droplet of rain splashed onto the boy's nose as he read her suicide note one last time.

"Dear Jyushimatsu,
I'm so sorry for being such a liar to you. I know what you'll probably say to me today, but that's okay. Really, everything is fine. I just can't live like this anymore. I'm sorry. I remember I told you once, committing suicide was a terrible thing. A way of cheating to the end of the race. For awhile, no, my entire life, I told myself that. I lied to myself for such a long time, saying constantly 'I'll be okay'. But with a father who wishes I was never born, a mother who died because she had a disease because she had twins, and a sister whom died...I just don't belong in this world. I know your heart belong to Yuka, or...as you might have known her at some point, 'Akari'. She liked being called that, though I tend to refer to her as 'Yuka'. Moving on...you've done more than enough for my, Jyushimatsu. And I don't want you to ever feel sad because of me. I want you to go on, living your life just as you did before. Take care of Ichimatsu, alright? You said he was the depressed one, didn't you? Don't let anything happen to him. You didn't fail to stop me, Jyushimatsu. Trust me. You were the only thing keeping me in the world. But the only way for me to escape the terrible cycle I was stuck in, is by suicide. I'll be at the beach tonight, but please, don't follow me there. I don't want to see you sad because of me. I want you to keep smiling. I want you to be happy. Can you do that for me? Or, at least, can you trust the birds?
~ Homura Kanojo, age 26"

"I can't do it, Homura..." Jyushimatsu whimpered, falling to his knees at the edge of the cliff, covering the letter from the rain that had begun to pour down in sheets again.

Little did Jyushimatsu know, this was only the beginning to many difficult years ahead.