The Disconsolate Maiden

Chapter Forty-One

Homura, who had started to run the moment she left her house that evening, stopped dead in her tracks when a familiar roar overcame her ears. Seagulls screeched in the sky, and the distant sound of children laughing filled the air. Though, they weren't true children laughing. The children were all in Homura's mind, a vivid memory she still hadn't forgotten.

"I'm here, Yuka," Homura said as she took off her shoes, letting her toes meet the cool, night sand. "I'm going to join you, soon."

Though, it wasn't completely dark outside yet, clouds had covered the sky, causing it to appear darker than it really was.

As she walked along the beach, from a little ways away, back up where the sidewalk was, Homura could just barely hear two men talking to each other.

"I'm going home..." one said huskily, sighing loudly. Homura heard the man's shoes, probably sandals, scuff and shuffle across the ground as he walked away.

"I'll see you in a minute then, I'll be home soon, I promise!" the other man replied, laughing a little. The man's laugh was familiar to Homura, but she thought nothing of it.

Really, she had no reason to think. She was going to commit suicide, and that was that. Nobody was stopping her. It would be absolutely impossible. After all, nobody around realized what filth she had become, let alone how lonely she was each and every day of her life.

"Even if I do get away from this life..." Homura thought to herself as she walked further along the beach, approaching her favorite cliff. She had always loved it, even though it had ended her sister's life. "Love will not exist for me...not ever...I don't even know what love is anymore...the boss always told me it was found in my job...the job I was forced to do. Is that really love...? Is it really...? I just don't understand anymore..."

Homura climbed on top of the cliff and looked around, feeling absolutely calm about her decision.

"I guess this is the last that I'll be seeing, isn't it?" Homura sighed, as she neatly placed her shoes on the ground. "It's a nice thing...if it's the last I'll ever see. The view is soothing to my soul..."

Homura stared out at the ocean, reimagining the horror she felt inside when Yuka let go.

"I don't blame you for not wanting to live...if you saw me like this now..." Homura laughed a little, staring directly down at the bubbling, greenish colored sea. " And to think I used to sit here and dream of becoming an idol. I was such a fool then...I hate being an idol...I'm not even an idol..."

Homura placed her hand over her heart for a moment, her eyes clouding over with misery.

"You'd just keep beating, if it wasn't for me, wouldn't you?" Homura sighed, feeling the steady beat of her heart. "I'm sorry for being such a failure to this world..."

Homura took a single step forward, then another, and another. Right when she was near the ledge of the cliff, preparing to jump to her death, she heard a loud, cheery man counting to high numbers just a little ways away.

The man, his mouth in an open, yet emotionless smile, continuously swung a baseball bat back and fourth, already in the thousands from counting.

"He'd see me..." Homura thought, yet deep down, she was just fascinated by his dedication.

Sitting down on the cliff, pulling her skirt over her knees, Homura watched the boy for quite some time as he just kept counting and counting. His energy just wouldn't run out.

"He's dedicated, that's for sure," Homura thought to herself, just watching the man, though she continued to feel worse and worse, praying for death.

But the man, who had just been running about, swinging his bad from side to side, got too close to the ocean just as a huge wave approached. Washing over the man, it pulled him out to the sea.

Yuka's content, lifeless expression haunted Homura's mind as she scrambled to her feet, slipping her shoes on as she ran down the cliff. Just because she failed to save her sister, didn't mean she had to fail at saving everyone.

Not even knowing who the man was, Homura jumped into the water, getting soaking wet as she quickly swam to where she saw him. His body was floating, and he was making no efforts to make it back to shore.

"I failed...I failed..." Homura thought, tears welling up in her eyes as she grabbed the man by his wrists, swimming all the way back to shore with him. For once, she was thankful she swam in this dangerously deep ocean so much as a child. Though she hadn't swam in years, she had the chance of saving someone's life.

Gently, Homura placed the man's body on the ground. He was unconscious. His wide eyes were just blank.

Pressing on his stomach, she tried her best to remove any water he could have possibly swallowed.

"Wake up...." Homura cried, her voice cracking a little. She just continued to see Yuka in her mind, her sister's smiling, encouraging face.

"Be good," Yuka seemed to whisper inside of Homura, the last words the girl ever heard her sister say to her.

"Please wake up!" Homura cried out, pressing down even harder on the man's stomach.