The Disconsolate Maiden

Chapter Thirty-Five

Homura climbed the steps that led to the school roof, finding that it was the only place that would be silent. From here, all she could hear were sounds of cars passing by at high speeds from time to time.

"H-Hello?" Homura spoke into her phone, her hands trembling.

"A-Ah yes! Homura!" the manager said, calling the girl by her first name. This made her quite uncomfortable, but she tried to brush it off of her shoulders. "We need to have a serious talk."

Homura's heart began to beat a little bit faster than normal. Palms sweaty, she moved her phone to her other ear and leaned against the brick wall right by the door that led inside.

"W-What is it? Is something wrong?" Homura asked, biting her lip.

"It seems our company made an error," the manager sighed over the receiver. "My apologies, but we have to move you and all the girls in the same group as you. Turns out, there's no empty slots here, leaving our most recent girls without jobs."

"I-I see..." Homura sighed, almost relieved that someone from the idol company hadn't seen her with Jyushimatsu.

"But, as for you," the manager sighed deeply into the phone. "You're not going to have a debut of any sort. Not ever. The head of our company, the person I work for, has said that...you might be interested in other things with our company."

"L-Like what sort of things?" Homura said, her legs shaking.

"That is classified information, at the moment," the manager said, though he didn't seem to be speaking the truth. "To be blunt, I was told by the head of our company, that you don't exactly fit the idol type. Because of this, we're moving you to another field you'll be more useful in. I've already gotten permission to pull you from your school so you can move closer to our second location...that would be...quite a walk for you. We already have an apartment and everything set up for you. You'll be given private lessons to further your education, too."

"I-I..." Homura felt tears welling up in her eyes. She had no idea what was going on, but it made her feel sick to her stomach.

"Since you're already part of the company, bound in by our rules, I wasn't given the choice to give you a choice. You have to do this now, wether you like it or not, really. My deepest apologies," the manager said, beginning to cough. "I'll be meeting with you tomorrow evening at Japan's Love Hotel to discuss more with you."

"L-Love Hotel...?" Homura nearly burst into tears. "I can't!"

"Like I said, I wasn't given the choice," the manager said firmly. "but you'll love this job."

"I-I won't!" Homura struggled to say. "I-I can't do that!"

The manager hung up.

"N-No..." Homura whimpered, her hand falling from her ear, her phone barely resting in her hand. "I can't..."

Bursting out from the door beside Homura, Jyushimatsu struggled to breathe, gasping for air as he rested his eyes on the terrified girl.

"Homura, why here?" Jyushimatsu asked, his voice just as soft and caring as it could be. "What's going on?"

"J-Jyushimatsu...I have to tell you something..." Homura forced herself to say.

Her entire life flashed before her eyes. Yuka holding hands with her, Yuka's time with Jyushimatsu, Yuka's accidental death that shouldn't have even happened that day, Homura's loneliness, her father's hatred towards her, her mother's sweet, pure smile, the bullies at her school, changing schools, Naomi and Totoko being terrible 'friends', her favorite rock at the beach, meeting Jyushimatsu, her mother's death, her father's disownment, and finally, joining the idol company.

None of it was good to Homura. None of it.

"I-I...can't..." Homura struggled to say, slumping down to the ground, biting her head in her hands. "I can't..."

Homura burst into tears for what seemed like the millionth time in her life.

"Homura it's okay, really! Don't be upset! Don't cry! I'm right here! You don't have to be so sad anymore! I'm going to be right here with you!" Jyushimatsu said, quickly sitting down next to Homura, hugging her. He hated to see her cry like this.

But his words only made Homura cry harder, for she knew her fate. She could never see Jyushimatsu again. She could never love him. She could never be happy in life.

Happiness didn't exist.