The Disconsolate Maiden

Chapter Twenty-Four

Brown shoes tapping softly on the cold, hospital flooring, Homura inhaled deeply, taking in the sickening smell. It was a somewhat familiar smell, but she didn't want to make herself remember what it was linked to in her past.

A nurse casually walked past her, pushing along an elderly woman in a wheelchair, connected to some kind of machine.

"You're all alone, aren't you?" a familiar voice suddenly whispered inside of Homura's head. "Jyushimatsu doesn't truly care about you. You're all alone. You have no friends. Nobody cares. Even your mother is leaving you."

"No, stop...that's not true," Homura reminded herself as she stopped in front of the large staircase leading to the second floor.

She was adamant that she would not take the elevator, knowing how strong the hospital's scent was there. The entire thing just reeked of it. It certainly wasn't pleasant.

Gripping the railing, Homura began to walk up the stairs slowly, silently praying that Jyushimatsu hadn't had more business to do in the hospital.

A sudden pang in her chest spread across Homura's entire body, a reminder that her mother was dying.

"She really won't die, now will she...?" Homura asked herself as she continued to walk.

In the distance, she could hear someone in the bottom floor begin to play the piano, the soft notes of Reverie by Claude Debussy beginning to resonate a vivid memory. As usual, it was the type of memory Homura would rather forget. Though the music was beautiful, she broke into a run, gripping the railing more tightly as she began to take two steps at a time. She just couldn't stand some classical masterpieces.

"'Hey, isn't that the girl who plays piano with her sister?' What's wrong with you wanting to remember that? Really, you can remem-" the voice began, but Homura quickly shook her head, releasing those 'thoughts'.

"I don't want to remember," Homura sighed out loud when she reached the top of the stairs. "That's the thing. But, trying to forget something only seems to make me remember it even more. Especially people...people that I loved..."

"Miss are you alright?" a doctor asked, walking up to the girl with his head held high, clipboard in hand. "You've been staring at the floor, mumbling to yourself. Are you lost?"

"No sir, I'm just here to visit my mother," Homura said quietly, not having realized she was staring at the floor. "Sorry to be a bother...I-I..."

Homura abruptly bowed to the man.

"Does your mother happen to be Mrs. Kanojo?" the doctor asked in a rush, staring down at his clipboard.

"Y-Y-Yes!" Homura exclaimed worriedly. "Wh-Why do you ask?"

The doctor's kind smile dropped to a deeply depressed facial expression the very moment Homura replied.

"Follow me," he said gravely as he began to walk down the hall, not looking back to see if Homura was even following.

"Oh no..." Homura thought, her heart feeling as if it would explode right out of her chest. "I'm too late...I'm too late...I'm..."

Homura ran into the doctor's back on accident, her head slinging back a little, banging it on the wall beside her. A loud thump echoed in the hall as Homura blinked dizzily as she listened to the pleasant sound of her ears ringing.

"Are you alright?" the doctor asked, pushing open the door to the hospital room they were in front of. "You need to come in here no matter what."

Homura inhaled deeply, following the doctor on inside the hospital room.

As expected, the girl's father was no longer present in the room. But her mother was there, and she was alive.

"Say your goodbyes, Miss Kanojo," the doctor said to Homura as he already began to leave the room. "Your mother won't last much longer now. She wasn't supposed to see today's light, but she did. That in itself is a miracle, in my opinion."

If one's heart could shatter into a million pieces, yet continue beating in a broken up, uneven pattern, Homura was positive hers did at that moment.

Her mother's weak smile as she sat up in bed, smiling, wrinkles and all. Her skin was just as pale as could be, and she looked incredibly weak. The fact that she was even sitting up seemed amazing. Oh, how so much had changed in just a single day.

"Homura," Mrs. Kanojo said, holding out both of her arms to her daughter, wanting to hug her.

Homura stared at the floor, her hair covering her face as her shoulders began to jerk.

"Homura, don't cry," her mother said kindly. "I'm not going anywhere. It's not like I won't love you anymore, or that I won't be proud of you...or that I won't continuously watch you."

Homura let out a quiet whimper, but she refused to let herself break. She had to be strong.

"You're not going to be all alone," Mrs. Kanojo said softly. "I am here. I'll hold you until the end."

Homura ran sprinted a few steps towards her mother and threw herself in her arms, breaking down, sobbing.

Mrs. Kanojo continued to smile, rubbing her daughter on the back.

"You're a strong girl Homura, I trust this you'll be alright," she said.

"I'm not strong!" Homura gasped, inhaling before she choked a little. "I can't make it without you! What reason will I have now? Who will I come home to each day! My sister is gone! I don't have anyone who I trust or love!"

"Homura," Mrs. Kanojo said softly, reaching her hand up to wipe a tear that had escaped her own eyes. "You'll be okay."

"I can't go on without you, mother..." Homura whimpered, her voice getting higher and higher. "Please don't go, don't leave me behind! I've tried so hard to move on since that day! I never have, I cannot forget what I saw!"

"Homura," Mrs. Kanojo said soothingly, hugging her daughter with all of her remaining strength. "Yuka would have never left you. She loved you with all of her heart. She always wanted you to keep on smiling. Yuka never wanted you to be sad. And I believe the same thing, Homura. So for me and your sister, please, keep on smiling."

"Yu...ka..." Homura breathed, looking up at her mother, tears flowing down her face like a waterfall.

"I'll be with Yuka in a moment," Mrs. Kanojo said softly, wiping away her daughter's tears. "And I'll remind her, that you kept those promises you made that day. The promise to live two lives. The promise to never let go of the music you both shared."

Mrs. Kanojo stared into her daughter's eyes for a few moments, her smile slowly fading into a sad expression.

"Please find another joy, Homura. It's time you remember and let go," Mrs. Kanojo said, her breathing growing shorter. "I'm so, so proud...of you."

"Mother..." Homura choked, her hands trembling as she felt her mother's weak arms fall from her. "Please don't...don't...please don't go..."

Homura's mother was dead, yet she had kept her short little promise. She had held Homura until the end of her life.