The Disconsolate Maiden

Chapter Forty-Five

Three weeks later...

Homura sat down at the kitchen table as soon as she entered her old home. Once again, she managed to take a little bit of time off. She had worked overtime for several days just in order to have three days of "peace".

"Where did I leave the paper..." Homura mumbled to herself, resting her head on the table, her arms straight out in front of her. "I need to write something for Jyushimatsu..."

For the past three weeks, each weekend, the two of them would meet up and go out together as "good friends". Really, it was nothing special at all. "Good friends" was the only way Homura could see it, at least.

"Paper..." Homura mumbled again, looking up from her lazy, relaxed position. "It's so early..."

"But you need the paper, Homura," Yuka seemed to whisper inside of the girl.

"Right..." Homura mumbled, standing up, rummaging around in the kitchen, attempting to find a sheet of stationary. She knew there had to be some left, for her mother never wrote letters, yet she always had a huge stack of paper hiding somewhere in the kitchen. "Yesterday was a nice day...Jyushimatsu was with me the entire time..."

Seeing a small corner of paper sticking out of a cabinet, Homura opened it, finding exactly what she needed.

"I guess I'll just write it now, since really...I don't think anyone can stop me," Homura sighed, taking a single sheet of paper and a pen that was also right next to it.

Rain began to pour down in sheets, the wind blowing insanely as she wrote her letter to Jyushimatsu.

"What a bad day to go out," Homura sighed as thunder boomed loudly in the sky. "It'll be electrocuting, that's for sure."

Two hours later...

Homura grabbed her red umbrella, heading out to meet Jyushimatsu on the main bridge in the nearest park.

Rain still poured down in sheets, but it wasn't as bad as it had been earlier in the day.

Walking onto the bridge, Homura gazed over the edge, staring at the water below. It looked welcoming.

"Just a little while..." Homura mouthed to the water, turning around when she heard shoes splashing softly through the water on the concrete.

Behold, there stood Jyushimatsu, dressed in a suit Homura had never seen him wear before.

Anxiety wrapped around the girl's heart as she stared at him, eyeing him from head to toe. He was dressed for a special occasion.

Mouth closed, a slight blush on his cheeks as rain from his yellow umbrella dripped into his nose, Jyushimatsu stared desperately at the girl.

"Homura," he said simply, opening jos mouth as if he wanted to say something more.

Homura walked over to Jyushimatsu, careful not to get her normal red skirt wet in the rapidly growing, already huge puddles on the bridge.

Eye to eye, Homura just blinked nervously at the gleeful man. She was everything but happy at that moment in her life. She didn't want to be anywhere at all.

"I love you! Please, will you be my girlfriend?!" Jyushimatsu shouted out, trying to be heard over the rain and thunder, dipping his head down to hide his red cheeks.

Homura's mouth opened in shock, tears welling up in her eyes as her umbrella slipped from her hands, bouncing between the two.

"I-I h-have to catch a train tonight to go be with my f-f-family!" Homura lied.

By instinct, she turned around and ran from Jyushimatsu. She couldn't believe what had just happened, and she never wanted it to happen again. She never lied to Jyushimatsu, for he never once lied to her.

For a moment, as she held her arms close to her chest as she ran, Homura regretted running from Jyushimatsu. She knew for a fact, she hard hurt him deeply. Usually, he would make the effort to chase her, to hold her back from any sort of harm, even if it hurt him in the process. But not today. No, today wasn't a day for fools.

"I'll take the train...yes I'll take the train like I said I would..." Homura thought to herself, spilling in a puddle, falling to the ground in the middle of the sidewalk.

Curling up in a ball of misery, the girl sobbed, glad to know that nobody would even notice her tears in such a storm.

That night...

Homura pulled along her suitcase in the train station, feeling absolutely awful with her decision to just flat out lie to Jyushimatsu. She wasn't going to see her family, no, not her living family. She couldn't catch a train to heaven or hell.

"This is my purgatory..." Homura thought to herself as she stared down at her train ticket, her hands shaking like a leaf. "A purgatory I will never escape..."

The train doors slid open, and Homura climbed on, only to find that Jyushimatsu was running up to her in the train station.

"Homura! Homura!" he panted, bending over, resting his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

"Jyushimatsu...I..." Homura whimpered, her eyes swimming with tears.

Still catching his breath, Jyushimatsu replied, breathing deeply, "We'll...see each other again, Homura-chan!"

Homura threw her hand over her mouth, about to burst into tears as she had vivid flashbacks of just weeks before, then suddenly, flashbacks of high school.

"Jyushimatsu was the one who made me feel like life was worth living...." Homura realized, breaking down into gross sobs.

"Don't cry!" Jyushimatsu exclaimed, waving his arms around in a panic as the train doors shut tightly.

Staring desperately out the window, Homura regretted absolutely everything she had ever done in her life.

Jyushimatsu ran alongside the train, doing his very best to make the girl stop crying. He hated to see her look so sad, so depressed.

And just as the train station was about to end, Homura gave Jyushimatsu the most genuine smile she possibly could, despite all of her feelings of self hatred.