Honest Diaries

Chapter 16

Dear diary,

the academic year went along as usual. School, work, home. School, work, home. I got into a routine. Andrew and I met mostly at school. He seemed angry with himself yet relieved at the same time. A strange combination. I was worried about him and he kept convincing me that I've done the right thing when I told him and that he's glad that he knows. His mood returned to normal eventually.

Just about that time a formal dance season came around. And in that spirit, our former high school organized a dance. For the students, the teachers, the alumni, the parents even. Everyone was invited. Andrew and I decided to go. We contacted our former classmates and made the dance our personal little reunion. Full table of former classmates. I got really excited.

The day before the dance I volunteered to help with decorations. I didn't have anything better to do anyway. I spent the whole day folding napkins, decorating tables, chairs, polishing cutlery and glasses. We chit-chatted as we worked, about anything and everything. That's how I got the 'great' news: Tara is going to the dance as well. She and a former classmate, that no one really liked, sat together at a different table with their companion. At least something positive. Our tables were waaaay far away from each other, at the opposite ends of the venue. But needless to say, I was really nervous about the dance now. I made sure to let Andrew know about Tara. He seemed less anxious than me.

'Okay, let's do this!' I repeated over and over in my head as a mantra while I was getting ready for the dance. I love being all glammed up, long formal dress, a curly up do, fancy make up. It made me feel important, pretty and high class. At least for one night, before I return to my routine of shirts and jeans.

Andrew came around to pick me up, along with another former classmate. I walked in with two gentlemen on my arms, felt like two bodyguards, haha. We quickly found our other friends and sat down at our table.

The whole evening was strange. Andrew was tensed up most of the time, I was anxious as well. We talked with our classmates, but never really with each other.

At one point our high school class teacher came over to us, asking us to take a picture with her. We summoned the photographer and all the former classmates there were at the dance. As soon as Andrew saw Tara coming over, he excused himself and backed out. I understood. It must've been hard for him. It was hard for me as well. Tara wasn't speaking to me and yet we stood side by side on the picture.

Needless to say, Andrew's evening was pretty much messed up by this point.

After all the formalities and tasty dinner, the party time came up. We were all pretty tipsy at this moment, sharing a lot of laughs. Suddenly, Andrew got up and walked over to my side of the table, stretching out his hand for me. I was confused. Then he asked me for a dance. HE asked ME for a DANCE! I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. When I wasn't moving for a few seconds, he sat down, grabbed my hand and yanked slightly, as if to put an emphasis on his words. And what did I do? Of course that I chickened out! The dance floor was right in front of Tara's table and I'd feel uncomfortable dancing with Andrew there, while she was watching. Especially after all that happened. I tried to explain it to him while he was holding my hand. Needless to say that it wasn't easy to think while he was doing it. I'd swear he actually stroked my hand lightly! Was I being paranoid? Probably. After a few seconds he probably realized what he was doing and let go of my hand. He got up and walked away. 

I felt giddy and terrible at the same time. I most definitely hurt his feelings. I felt like an idiot. Why did I do that? I was ruining the evening even more, for both of us. The atmosphere was really strange. I was tired of the tension because of Tara and I desperately wanted to leave. I got up from our table and made my way to the entrance hall where I hopped up on the cloakroom counter. 'Very ladylike', I thought to myself, but I didn't care, tears were making their way into my eyes and I tried desperately to fight them, to take my mind off of everything. I texted my mom to come pick me up. I couldn't stay there any longer.

Andrew came over to me. He must've seen the expression I've had on my face. I saw it in his eyes. He asked if I was okay and I lied. Of course I lied, why would I tell him that something was bothering me. I just muttered that I am sorry how the evening turned out, that it was supposed to be fun and he clearly wasn't having any. I also told him I was about to go home. He just nodded and let me go say goodbyes to everyone.

When I picked up my coat, ready to go, Andrew actually walked me out. He told me that it's not my fault how the event turned out and that we'll make up for it some other time. Then there was an awkward silence, a lot of staring into each other's eyes, I'd swore that he was about to kiss me. And what happened next? Of course that my mom showed up! Ugh. I blushed and told him she didn't want me to go some alone at night. He seemed to understand, because he gave me a sweet hug and said goodbye.

I am never going to forget this evening.

A/N: I am really sorry for publishing this late. I got stuck with the story, it's really hard to express my actual feelings and events so important to me, I wanted to take my time with it. I hope you understand!

Feel free to vote and comment, your feedback is really important! 

And if you'd like, you can check out my other story titled 'Alaska'!