My Crazy Hot Interstellar Affair

5. New Celebrity Trend! Extraterrestrial Adoption!

Mr. Lieder's stunning assistant had eerie blue eyes—the sort generally seen in films where small, adorable yet demonic children hypnotize some innocent adult into stepping off a cliff or diving into a vat of acid. She had straight glossy hair as black as a dung beetle and wore a tight mustard-yellow pantsuit.

After a few non-verbal 'comments' about the state of Andie's attire, the woman directed Andie to the penthouse bathroom.

Everything inside the dimly lit room was slate gray except for the bright green Venus flytrap lurking on the counter between the two sinks. Andie's mom, who loved almost all plants, never allowed a Venus Flytrap in the house, claiming only vegetarian plants were karmically in balance. Andie splashed some cold water on her face, unclipped and fixed her hair, and brushed the dust off of her suit. She could be deemed practically presentable.

Back in the penthouse reception area, Andie waited for Mr. Lieder on suede gray love seat perched across from the assistant's desk.

Andie examined the metallic coffee table in front of the couch. It had no legs. She waved her arm underneath, searching for wires. Nothing. Could it be magnets? She started to ask the assistant, but became distracted by the five issues of The Star Enquirer fanned across the top.

Sterling's picture graced the front page of three them. Of the other two, one had a photo of Angelina with an enormous-eyed green baby titled Angelina Jolie First to Adopt Extraterrestrial. The other had a picture of a man in a white coat with crazy hair and the headline: Scientists Reverse Aging Process in Fruit Flies. Andie rolled her eyes. Do people honestly believe any of this is real?

"Miss Bank," said a familiar baritone.

Oh no. It couldn't be. Tossing aside Kim Kardashian, Andie cringed, wishing she could disappear.

"I'm Oliver Lieder. Pleased to meet you ... again." He held out his hand.

Andie tried to shake it, tried to speak, but apparently had lost the ability to function as a normal human.

"Are you sure you're up to this today? We can certainly reschedule."

"Uh," Andie cleared her throat, stood, and smiled. "No, I'm fine. Let's go ahead. And thank you again for earlier."

"It was my pleasure to be of help." The way he said "pleasure" sparked Bad Andie, who tried to take center stage. Andie shoved her down, internally reprimanding her with harsh reminders about professionalism and office decorum.

"Did Talia offer you something to drink?"

"No. I'm not thirsty."

"Talia?" He frowned.

"I was just getting to that. I had important business to take care of for Mrs. Lieder."

Wait. Mrs. Lieder? Andie's heart sank. Why this reaction? To a man she didn't know at all. More internal reprimanding about professionalism followed.

"Come in," said Mr. Lieder, as he held open his office door.

"Talia, please get Miss Bank some water."

"Honestly, I don't need ..."

"It's no trouble," he said, gesturing Andie inside.

His office smelled like cinnamon rolls. He directed her to a plush chair in front of an enormous mahogany desk adorned with a disturbing array of carnivorous plants. But that wasn't the most troubling aspect of Mr. Lieder's office. Framed covers of The Star Enquirer hung like trophies around the room, and the issue behind his desk, directly in her eye line, had the cover pronouncing Sterling Champagne "tarnished."