My Crazy Hot Interstellar Affair

29. "As the Earth Turns" Most Watched Reality Show in Galaxy

Strapped back into the chair, arms folded across her chest, staring out the window, Andie had a front-row seat to the not-so-thrilling spectacle of faster-than-light space travel. It turned out that Star Trek and Star Wars and science fiction had totally oversold the whole light-speed idea. Instead of stars streaking past, there was only a bright fuzzy glow.

Still, her inner sci-fi nerd was happy just being in space. Bad Andie was sulking about the almost-but-not-quite sex with Oliver. Andie knew this because the harridan kept sighing like an accountant who can't balance the books, even though she's been at it for thirteen hours, drunk fifteen cups of burnt coffee, and has a looming deadline.

"Oh, my god!" said Bad Andie. "You come up with the most convoluted similes! I'm embarrassed to even know you!"

"I feel the same about you. Plus, it's my brain, so I can create any kind of simile I want."

"Take this!" Bad Andie supplied one of her naked Oliver images from a seemingly never-ending supply. In this one, he was frolicking naked and laughing.

Andie swallowed hard. "You don't play fair."

The object of Bad Andie's latest visual "treat" took Andie's hand. "Are you all right?" he said. "I'm sure Star will love you once she gets to know you."

Andie shook her head, trying (and failing) to get rid of Bad Andie.

"Nice try."

"I'm fine, Oliver. Really. I mean, here we are in outer space, on our way to rescue Sterling with no crazed mothers, supermodel guards, or ex-fiancée in sight. Just one jealous, sentient spaceship. I mean, sure, she's the only thing separating us from the vacuum of space. And she controls the oxygen supply. But hey, I'm safer now than I've been since ... well ... the day we met."

"I am sorry about Star's jealous nature. We will have to look into her programming once we get back." The cabin smelled like burnt marshmallows again.

"Star is fine the way she is," Andie said. "I can't really blame her for liking you. Despite your multitude of drawbacks, it seems like all of femalekind seem to want you."

Oliver narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I saw all those females in the audience at your Joining drooling over you. Literally. And of course, there's Talia." Andie wrinkled her nose. "Even Sterling thought you were hot."

"Well ..." Oliver said, pulling another one of those silver jumpsuits from beneath his seat. "I'll just put this on so you stop salivating at my manly torso."

Andie's face heated. "I wasn't salivating!" She swallowed the excess saliva she hadn't noticed before this moment preventing an embarrassing, unsexy drooling situation.

"Sure you weren't."

Oliver handed her a Gripple before donning the spacesuit and strapping himself back into his seat.

Andie sighed.

Bad Andie laughed. "Now who's frustrated?"

"So, this is space travel," Andie said, ignoring her bad self and gesturing to the unvarying glow of light visible through the window. It's a little tedious, to be honest."

"Oh, do not worry about boredom. We are not out of the timberland yet," Oliver said.

Andie tilted her head to the side. "Huh?"

"Out of the timberland. Meaning there are still things that could go wrong."

"Oh, you mean out of the woods?" Andie laughed. "And what could go wrong as long as I don't antagonize Star?"