My Crazy Hot Interstellar Affair

9. Hot Guy Hits on Awkward, Clumsy Woman Who Doesn't Know She's Beautiful

How had Andie ended up at the bar of some throbbing, thunderous, nameless Hollywood club that catered to the rich and famous, watching Sterling impress a throng of Hollywood A-listers with her sensuous, gyrating dance moves when she'd sworn never to see Sterling again?

Oh right.

The phone call (on her apartment phone as she hadn't had time to replace the broken cell since the Hummer incident) and the guilty threats, which went something like this:

"You're breaking up with me?" Sterling's voice had cracked, and she blew her nose. Andie felt like a piece of crap rolled in crap, then double-dipped ... in crap, which is why she was sitting on the sofa in her apartment, surrounded by the still unpacked moving boxes, eating a quart of Ben & Jerry's Oat of This Swirled.

But Andie could not think of another way to keep her friend safe from the ... OMG ... ALIENS at The Star Enquirer. Also, she was more than mad at herself for storming out of their offices before getting the camera which was solid proof of alien technology. After she left the building, Lilith wouldn't let her back. Even to get her purse.

"I wouldn't put it that way," Andie said, her mouth full of frozen, mind-numbing goodness. Of course, she wanted to drive over, hold Sterling, and tell her that will be best friends forever, and she should not cry. Andie would totally rather hang out with her pal and share the awesomeness that is Ben & Jerry's, hiding under the covers together, (so they wouldn't get caught eating a food containing sugar, carrageenan, or a modicum of flavor) like when they were kids.

But until Andie figured out how to get the microchip out of her brain, comforting Sterling wouldn't help her at all. It would only invite the enemy right into Sterling's home. "I think we need to take a break from seeing each other."

"Okay, can I tell you how many guys have said that exact sentence to me?"

"Zero, because any guy who broke up with you would be a total idiot." Andie licked the spoon and noticed her stomach wasn't as happy about the ingestion of a quart-sized container as her mouth was. Those two never got along.

"If you look 'guy' up in the dictionary, I think you'll find one of the definitions is 'total idiot.' The next thing you're going to say is 'it's you not me.'"

"That's true," said Andie.

"Aarrgghh. Best friends do not break up. I am coming over."

"No, don't do that." Andie coughed weakly. "I'm not feeling well." Which wasn't even a lie!

"Neither am I," Sterling said. "Now that my best friend is abandoning me just when I need her most. You have no idea what I've been through today. My career is ruined. But I have a plan."

Sterling's voice had a scary gleam to it. Like that time she decided they HAD TO start a YouTube Channel reenacting ghost stories on the beach at night. It all came to an untimely end when one night a jogger saw Sterling lying "dead" in the surf and called the police. They arrived with sirens blaring, and it turned out weren't amused. Sterling was devastated that no one had appreciated her convincing performance as a corpse. Except for Andie, who thought her friend did an outstanding job. Andie even pointed out that Sterling's acting "gifts" were the reason they ended up at the police station.

"Don't tell me." As Andie had no idea the extent of the microchip's abilities, she had to assume the aliens heard everything she did. The worst thing that could happen was for Sterling to confide whatever harebrained scheme she'd concocted this time."

"But I need your help."

"Look, Ster, I'm really sorry about you losing the Last Story job. But I can't help you." Don't tell me. Don't tell me.