My expression went bland and I could feel the colour of my face draining.
My locket
I know I have to tell him, this is it. This is the moment I have been dreading my whole life. I have never told anyone, not one single person about what happened that day. Only my family know, but not from my point of view. Just from the words I was able to say after I found her.
“It’s... Ah- I...” I fumble for words. How do I even start to explain, what do I say? How much does he want to know?
His face shows a confused expression, and I can see he’s starting to really understand it has more meaning than he thought it did. He doesn’t say anything, instead he sits completely still watching my every move. That’s when I began speaking, that’s when I let my mind stop and for the first time in forever let myself open up completely about the locket.
I let all the words free fall out of my mouth, Harry’s eyes widening in horror on some bits. My eyes watered and I chocked on a few sentences. I told him everything, saving the details of when I found Cher. I told him from the start about how Cher and I used to always have our talks and how she used to always comfort me when I came home from school crying. I told him of how we lived poorly and our parents struggled to support us. I told him about how I never suspected any of it and how that made me feel even worse. And for the first time in my life I told him about the night I found her, laying there in the bathtub. Lifeless.
And then I cried. I let the tears fall out of my eyes freely. I let them roll down my cheeks until they fell onto the edge of my legs. Then something happened that I wasn’t expecting. My body was moved and embraced into the arms of Harry’s. His strong arms wrapped around my body, bringing me into his warmth. The tears still fell out of my eyes, making me feel like an even bigger idiot. But right now I don’t care.
My head is leaning on his toned chest and his arms hug me tighter with every quiet sob that falls from my lips. My mind runs through the things I just told Harry. Everything. Never have I told anyone, I have always blocked them out. Even if it meant loosing someone I loved, I would never tell them. Not my mum, my dad, my ex-boyfriends from after high school. No one. Yet, here I am. Spilling my heart out to someone I have only known for 4 weeks, but feeling like I have known him for an eternity.
“Harmony, I’m sorry.” He mumbles into the top of my head and I release himself from my grasp. His arms slowly let go of me and I sit myself up to face him, wiping away the tears that are still on my face.
“No don’t.” I tell him.
I don’t want him to be sorry. I don’t want him to feel sympathy for me. In fact that’s the last thing I want. All through high school after what happened to Cher, people either still hated me or felt sorry for me. And I hated it. I hate the sympathy that came along with her death. Everyone would always talk to me like they were treading on thin ice, and it drove me crazy. Sympathy is the last thing I want.
His facial expression is confused and I let out a long sigh.
“I don’t want Sympathy, I don’t want you to be sorry for me.” I admit, telling him straight up. “Everyone after Cher died, either hated me or felt sorry for me. I don’t want that from you.”
“I’m not going to do that to you.”
“Thank you Harry.” I blurt out.
Even though this kid has put me through hell for the last 4 weeks, I can’t help but want him there by my side all the time. He is the only person I have met who hasn’t treated me like shit or felt sorry for me. He’s the only person I know who speaks their mind, and even though that can get really irritating. I love it.
“For what?” He asks confused.
“For listening… For once in my life letting myself open up to someone.” I mumble… It feels like the weight that has been sitting on my shoulders for years has been released. I can still feel it, but it’s lighter. Much lighter than it ever has been. And without harry, it wouldn’t have been.
His lips turn into a smile, which makes mine do the same.
“You know you have a beautiful smile.” He comments and I feel the red rise to my cheek. I think this is the first ever compliment he has ever gave me. And it makes my heart flutter, my body being replaced with a warm feeling.
“You have cute dimples.” I comment back and his smile drops making me laugh at him.
“Don’t talk about my dimples.” He tells me and I can see he is joking.
“Aww but they are so cute.” I smile reaching my hands out to touch them but he swats them away.
“You just ruined the moment.”
“There was a moment?” I ask.
“Well yeah I guess.” He mumbles and shifts uncomfortably making me smile bigger.
“I guess there was.” I smile back at him, pulling my hands up to my face and wiping under my eyes, to get rid of the mascara I know is sitting under them.
“Alright my turn.” I smile and Harry gives me a questioning look.
“What?”
“It’s my turn. You didn’t think the deal was over yet did you?” I smirk and he rolls his eyes at me.
“Seriously?” He chuckles, causing me to roll my eyes at him.
“All I got out of you was ‘Styles’ and ‘Business’ and you got a whole confession out of me. It’s my turn.” I say confidently, he’s not getting away with it this easy. He just broke down the wall of my trust issues and he doesn’t expect me to do the same to him?
“Fine” He groans.
“Tell me about your family.” I command, more than asking.
“No.” He snaps and I can see his fists clench on his side.
“You can’t just say no.”
“Yes I can and I just did.” He growls and I realise I have found his touchy subject.
“Harry seriously.” I bite back, he is going to tell me ond way or another.
“No Harmony.” He warns me.
“Are you kidding me? I just opened my heart to you and you won’t even tell me about your family.” I half yell at him. Why does this always happen why does our nice moments turn into arguments?
“I said no!” He yells back, standing from the couch making me flinch. And this is what I meant by the spring hitting me back into the face. It’s happening now.
“Tell me.” I demand, lowering my voice back down to a normal level.
“Fucking hell Harmony. Fine. My parents got divorced when I was 12, I have a dick of a father, a mother I have ignored my whole life. And a sister who hates me.” He shouts and I realise why he is getting angry. He clearly hasn’t had the best childhood, and clearly not a good relationship with his parents. My heart feels for him, he clearly had a fucked up childhood.
“Harry I’m Sor-…”
“Don’t.” He bites and sits back down despite the anger I can see fuming through his veins. “It’s fine.” He adds running his hands through his curly brown hair.
“My turn.” He mumbles and I hate how he’s avoiding the topic. I want to know more, I want to know about it. Even though I know it angers him. I want to know why…..
