3 Days to Fall in Love

8- Will

"Once upon a time, there was this girl. She was always happy and bubbly and could talk your ear off. She always had an opinion, and always knew how it was. She was confident that way. She had a nice family- a mom, dad, and older brother. Then one day, something happened. The girl was young when her parents started fighting, around 5 or 6. The next thing she knew, her dad stopped coming home. Her parents filed for divorce, and though it seemed to have been handled well, she didn't really know how anything was anymore. Slowly, she stopped talking, stopped eating. She always turned to her brother for answers. Soon enough, he got sick of always speaking for her and started pushing her off. When she did see her dad, he was always yelling. She still didn't talk. Then she, her brother, and her mom moved, and with a new school came new people. Jerks, in fact. They treated the girl like she was a disease that shouldn't be caught. She got used to not being around people, and not talking or trusting. Soon she began to have thoughts. She didn't know when "what if I fell" became "what if I jump". She found herself at the top of the stairs a lot, or wishing out the car window for an accident, but she always chickened out. Then she moved schools again. Her thoughts kept coming, but for the sake of the people there, she changed her personality. She became confident in a different way- sarcastic, kinda scary, and defensive. She never told anyone what went through in her head. It was hard to make her laugh, but for the sake of her friends and reputation, she laughed a lot. But "what if I jump" stayed etched in the back of her mind. She still never let her walls go down, and nobody really understood why sometimes she sat by herself, not lonely at all, and why sometimes she clung to the idea of having friends. She often brushed people off. She started wishing that things could change, and that either she could have a better life or none at all."

"What happened to her?" 

"I don't know, she didn't tell me. I met her in the underworld. It turns out she was like me- a child of Hades. I asked her if she wanted a second chance, but she turned me down. Said that she didn't want to be tortured again."

"Why did you tell me this?"

"Her story gives me hope. She was a tortured soul, but she kept living for the sake of staying alive. She said that if she could do it, so could I."

"So could you..? What does that mean?" I asked, all my worries rising up into my head.  "You didn't want to live.."

"No.. I didn't want to.  Not for the longest time.  Sometimes I still don't want to.  Sometimes I go into my bathroom and look in the mirror and think, what if I just ended it? I could if I wanted to, I had a place in the Underworld, I wouldn't have to deal with anything.. but I didn't, for her sake."

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why?"

"Why should you end it?" 

"You wouldn't get it." He sighed and slumped.  I crossed my arms.  I had felt like that may times before, I definitely would get it. 

"Try me."

"People hate me.  They think I'm a creep, a goth loser who has no place here.  I've been called almost every name imaginable.  I've been pushed and pulled in every direction, beat and bruised.  I lost everything, my sister, my mom, and everyone I cared about, and every time it's my fault.  I can't do anything right.  I just screw everything up anyway, so why bother?" He vented, and, strangely, I related.  

"I understand."

"What?"

"I understand.  I'm no fighter.  But if I don't fight, then how did I get these?" I lifted my shirt to reveal the scars and bruises that I always hid.  Nico gaped.  I dropped my head and lifted the hair from the back of my neck.  The word "GaY" was scrawled on it with white scars.  I winced at the memory, the pain as the boy had carved it into me for life.  I had been screaming and thrashing, but he had managed to do it nonetheless.  I dropped my hair back down and faced Nico.  "I've lost a lot, too.  Everyone I didn't manage to save, I lost.  I'm sorry, Nico.  But you don't screw anything up, and there are people here who love you.  So please don't give up."  He nodded gravely. 

"I won't."

I laughed.  

"What?"

"I just realized that this was the first time I willingly came out to anyone." Nico laughed too.  

"If if helps the situation, I'm gay too.  And the only ones who know are you, Jason, Piper and Percy and Annabeth." My mouth parted, but nothing came out.  He was? That was... great!  My face broke out into a wild grin.  Yes!  At least now I had a chance.  "Do me a favor, Sunshine?" He questioned as we sat on his bed.

"Yep?"

"Don't tell anyone." 

"No problem."