DEEP CONVICTIONS

Rambles

Hey you, you know who you are.
  More than half the time I wish I knew who you were, or are. Where you have been or what you were doing.
   Smaller thoughts have been written here than this and I can see that they've reached you when you comment or heart that stuff.  But you; You know who you are, not doing those things just reading this stuff I put down here and not even doing the basic most simple form of a head nod. Or a wink.
   A fucking thumbs up emoji would please me a little. But no....
  Jajaja.
  Yeah. You know who you are.
   I haven't been writing too much. I know.
   I guess I haven't had a lot to say and rather than make small talk, I just went far off the radar. I'm not even sure that I will be writing in here again for awhile.
   Truth is, I have been so in tune with reality that i forgot to take a little time for myself here late at night writing to my text keys in hope that I may see you.
   I don't want you to know think that I got soooo wrapped up in everyday shit that I was gone. Long gone like Hailey's Comet. Only makes my my way back here every 72 years or so.
   I guess it's more like a staycation. You know... where I went on vacation and decided to stay awhile... I still check in once in awhile read a little bit and get back to work.
   My first book here turned out to be something much more than I thought it was ever going to be. You know, I'm thankful for that. While writing it, I did make some pretty cool friends. I loved the interaction and it was a blast to get some feedback.
   It was all real.
   Very real to me. And I guess when I started writing this second book, it was very hard to find that same feeling. That same rhythm and without it, I began to lose momentum.
   Hey, keep reading. I hope I didn't lose you yet. This isn't an apology.
   But I did. I did lose that feeling of free writing.
   Don't lose that.
    It's hard to find again.
   And that is where I am. I keep just writing these stupid plots that are hard for me to read later. They don't feel like me. It's like I am just writing to kill time or over exert my imagination. They don't make sense or they're far stretched. And after I read them back to myself, i fucking delete that crap.
   I respect you way too much to me reaching for that star ⭐️ or that ❤️. I do. Seriously.
   I love free-writing. It's just my style. And if I kept writing letters to you. I guess. There would be so many.
   A good friend of mine died the other day.
  He was too cool man.
   I highly doubt that he wrote any letters to you like I do. Hell man, if I knew who you were, I would write you a letter. Cause you are worth every fucking thumb tap man. Everyone of those for sure.
   I'm not a grammar guy. Punctuation really isn't my thing and if you got a problem with it, I probably lost a few paragraphs ago.
   I spent a good portion of time here letting you get to know who I am. I have read some of your work as well.... if we are "Wattpad" pals, you can bet I've interacted with you on occasion.
   I love this little space. It's been good for me in the past, and I like to escape into it as well as any of you.
    Bacardi burns when you drink it straight.
   Makes this rambling a little easier as well.
    I have a world of work to do. If this many friends of mine are dying around me, it just means I'm getting older.
   I'm thinking of starting a new fucking rambling book. I don't know how often I will write in it, but it's going to be something worth picking up.
   I think I'm going to call it what it is and be sure to have a few letter in it for you before the day I die. People may not like it. I dunno.
   I'm just going to be over here typing away into it. Hoping I get a fucking ⭐️ or a ❤️ or an eyeball or what ever this Wattpad thingy does anymore. I guess I will find out.
   Look man. If you're into it, I'll know. If you want me to write you a letter, let me know. I will update my research file on you and write you a letter. 
   Even if you don't like what I write, the letter will be issued, and posted anonymously. No names unless you want it. It's all good to me.
   Probably should not be putting my ideas out in the open like this. Someone will publish one before I even get started and there will be a whole Wattpad pad trend that I won't be able to take credit for. Jajaja.
  My face is numb. Jajaja
   Hey you, if you've. Read to here, I appreciate that. I feel alright publishing this. I do t think I have the readers I used to. But I will never know if you don't at least give me your favorite e-headnod by properly using your android or iPhone.
  Fuck man. Yawns.
  I'm out. I will see you around.
Happy Easter 2017