why you? | h.s.

one

avery

it hurt like hell, man.

when i first saw you, i never realized what i was getting myself in to. when i first met you, i never knew how much i would fall so damn hard for you.

god, this feeling i have whenever i'm with you is completely indescribable.

you were the one person, the one person that kept me sane through this hell hole called life. every time i was down, i knew i could rely my happiness to you. funny. that's the thing. i relied myself and my happiness to you, harry. now that you most probably moved on, i'm desperate and i have no idea what to do without you. knowing that i'm not the one you love anymore.

it's not me anymore.

remember after i fought with cameron, i came to your place at around 2 am? and you wanted to cheer me up so bad and you kept telling me he was an āss and he didn't deserve to have me, then you took me to that cheap āss burger joint down town and we walked by the beach and just sat.

that was when i knew you were the one.

as i close my phone quickly i let out a big sigh and close my eyes.

why am i even typing this down?

oh nothing, avery. obviously so you can let all your feelings out. duh.

now i'm talking to myself, have i really gone insane?

i groan in frustration and sit up on my bed. i run my hand over my face due to the stress and negativity i was feeling. what am i even gonna do with these typed down on my phone afterwards? am i just going to leave it there to remind myself how hurt and desperate i am?

i was never even a good writer. i had no interest in writing or novels or anything closely related to that. harry used to write me stupid little poems all the time, he'd send it through text when he was away. i smile to myself at the thought but immediately frown and groan in annoyance and frustration once more that he somehow slipped into my own thoughts.

next thing i know i'm checking my phone messages and re-read them. i specifically find the cute dumb poems he used to send me continuously while he was away.

roses are red,
violets are blue,
it's our eleventh day on tour,
but i'm badly missing you. x

i scroll down.

i'm rubbish at this,
but i know you enjoy them dearly,
i just want you to know,
i miss and love you a lot avery. x

maybe one more poem won't hurt.

it's halfway through the tour,
but it's also been a year since we became official,
also two years since i first laid my eyes on you in the streets of new york,
i'll see you soon, avery. x

p.s. i know it doesn't rhyme i'm sorry.

p.p.s. happy anniversary again. i love
you loads. like loads. a lot. a ton. i love you, avery quinn.

it did hurt. loads. a lot. a ton. am i trying to make fun of myself? no fuckįng clue.