why you? | h.s.

six

avery

"hello?" i answer my phone not even bothering to check who was at the other line.

"avery! is that you?" i get confused at the voice and check who it is.

it was niall.

"oh.. uh, hi niall."

"avery, how are you?" he asks.

to be honest or to lie? why was he even calling? for harry? niall was one of my closest friends because of harry and ever since we broke up i kind of drifted away from niall as well.

"i've been better," i bite my bottom lip nervously.

"that was kind of a stupid question was it?" he sounded guilty but i don't blame him.

"it was, yeah." i admit.

"uhm, why'd you call?" i asked straight forward.

"so, my birthday's coming up." niall said excitedly. i had no idea.

"r-really? when?" i felt horrible that i didn't remember.

"this weekend, ave. i wanted to invite you. it's in my place, cami's invited too."

if niall has a birthday party that obviously means he's there. i didn't want to disappoint niall because this is the only time i could catch up with him but i couldn't stand the chances of seeing him again, i might just fall in love with him all over again.

"ave, i know you don't want to see him. you won't, it's a big party and you should have fun, you don't need to worry," niall convinces, "please."

"uh, alright."

–

niall's birthday party is in less than a week.

the chances of seeing harry? definitely.
did i want to see harry? no but fūck i miss him. if i see him, i might just sob all of a sudden and make a fool out of myself.

cami told me she was happy that i agreed, honestly, i don't know why i agreed. i wanted to start fresh. maybe attempt to get over him. free booze? i'm in.

niall also mentioned to dress formally. for god's sake i'm not the best dresser and all i wear are either shorts and a lose top. a dress? someone tell me why did i have to agree on this again?

"i'm proud of you, ave." cami pats me on the back. "why?"

"because, you're actually going out after two months. maybe you'll find a man," she teased.

"god, no." i nod my head in disagreement quickly.

"for real though, and the fact there's a huge chance you'll be seeing h-"

"shut," i put my hand over her mouth gently before she says any more words.
she rolls her eyes and i smile innocently.

hi, harry, how are you?

hey, harry.

how's it going, harry?

how is it now that you've moved on?

hi, harry. do you still love me as much as i still love you?

i kept replaying these scenes in my head if i said these things to you. i know i was going to see you but god i didn't want to experience the awkwardness and pain i'm gonna feel. if you did see me will you even notice me? the last time i saw you was when you broke my heart.

maybe niall's party was an opportunity for me to move on. it was an opportunity for a fresh start and maybe a slap in the face of realization that i should get over you. even if i get over you, i knew you should have been the person i married and have kids with.

i'm just repeating things am i? i am.