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avery
dear diary,
just kidding why the fūck would i write a diary. this is the notes app on my phone so it's not a diary but it just seems like i am writing in one when really i'm just writing about harry and my heartbreak.
well this week came by like a flash. not in a good way. i kept playing different scenarios in my head if i possibly saw harry. was i even going to notice him? should i smile? i have no clue.
i should stop overthinking. yeah, i should. but will it happen? nope. i tend to overthink too much and you might think it's a good thing because it's like i have everything settled already but no, you are a hundred percent wrong. overthinking hurts my head and the fact that i only really overthink negativity is worse.
harry has a girlfriend. and it's not me.
say it louder for the people at the back ha! am i right!
i'm crazy, yeah.
it's not hard to move on from someone you think you'll be spending your whole life with. wow, i hate love. was i really foolish enough to believe i'll be spending my whole life with harry styles? one of the biggest celebrities in the world when thousands, maybe even millions of girls are chasing after him? was i foolish enough to believe he would be committed to me? when there are so much more beautiful models and women out there and i'm just average.
– flashback –
i like this. a lot. his arms were wrapped around me as we sat on the roof top of the hotel.
it was like we were the only two people in the world, well as of now, yeah because no one else was in the roof top besides us but god, does this boy make my heart beat.
i didn't realize i was staring at harry until he let out a laugh and i hid my face because of embarrassment.
"liking the view?" he asked cockily and i rolled my eyes at him.
"i hate you," i replied back but he just wraps his arm around me tighter and looks at me as well.
"oh god, don't look at me like that." i start and he laughs, "what?"
"your eyes, they're so intimidating when you stare." i say honestly.
"avery, i was trying to be romantic!" he fought back and we started laughing even more.
"try harder." as i said that he slowly leaned towards me and he intertwined our fingers together. i take a look at our holding hands and smile softly looking back up to him as he continued to lean in breaking the space between us giving me a passionate kiss.
it felt so nice and my heart was beating so fast. harry styles kissed me. i mean this wasn't the first time it happened but he did it because he wanted to. he wanted me.
"how was that?" he let go and asked me.
"eh," i reply jokingly.
"eh?! are you seriou-"
"i'm kidding, it was nice. you made my heart do cartwheels." i say honestly maybe boosting his confidence.
"avery, do you- do you wanna be my girlfriend?"
was he serious? me? i was so taken by surprise. i did like him, a lot. but harry styles? who knew harry styles would ask me to be his girlfriend?
"why me?" i asked honestly.
"why you?" he repeated and i nodded.
"well, if i'm honest, every time i'm with you i feel like a normal person not like a celebrity, you know? i- it's just you're so natural, ave. i can trust you and i know it's risky to ask you this because the media and the hate you might be getting. god, why did i even ask you this you'll be getting loads of negativity and you probably don't like me back as much-"
i laughed at his adorable rambling and shut him up by kissing him once again.
