why you? | h.s.

nineteen

a/n: I GOT RESERVED TICKETS FOR HARRY'S CONCERT IN MY COUNTRY OHMYGOD IM SEEING HARRY STYLES LIVE JDHSHD ok bye enjoy! btw only one more chapter left then epilogue heh

if i could fly - one direction

avery

"so, how have you been?" he changed the topic.

there were two ways to answer his question. it's either i answer back by saying "oh, no, nothing much. i'm still completely devastated because i'm in love with you and i don't think i can fūcking get over you." which is the honest and blunt way or i can go with the boring āss "i've been alright. you?"

i shrug my shoulders. my overthinking got the best and worst of me making me re-think about everything that happened. suddenly niall, cami, and another guy with brown hair come running from the crowd almost like they're panicking.

"we need to go. someone spotted us and there are loads of paps outside." niall said loud enough for us to hear.

fūck. if i was seen with harry that would make everything look worse.

"josh, did you pay for everything already?" niall asked the unknown guy which i now know is josh. josh gives him a nod.

"ave and i will take the back door since we're parked behind the place." cami informs.

"bye avery, bye cami. it was nice seeing you two." niall smiles quickly and we smile back.

"bye," harry weakly smiled and waved at the both of us but his eyes looking at me.

cami then pulls my arm and we quickly make our way towards the back door. once we find the door we slowly open it making sure no one was there. after looking around and being sure the coast was clear we were finally outside the bar. from here we could hear the flashing cameras and noise from the paps and possibly fans.

"i'm not that wasted but i think it's best if you drive." cami says as we unlock our car doors.

"i already called it." i sighed hopping in to the drivers seat.

–

long time no see, notes app. i'm back with the typing. after a long night i finally took the guts to freshen up and here i am again.

ever since harry and i ended things it was bloody ironic that some of our possible encounters would be during a place with either one; alcohol and two; a big crowd. the first time i saw him after we broke up was during niall's party. then i saw him once again in a bar. not counting when i saw him with tears in my eyes after the encounter i had with megan and when he came to my place.

i hate that we're like this. we act like nothing happened. after we confessed our love to each other the next time i saw him it was like nothing fūcking happened.

i was dying to fix this. to fix us. i know there's always going to be a part of me that will love harry. for fūcks sake, i don't even know how i'm going to move on. you might think i'm some petty school girl who just has a huge crush, you're wrong.

the impact harry made to my life was fūcking massive. almost three years of dating was a long āss time. you think i can just throw that away? absolutely not. the love i had with harry was unbelievably perfect. too good to be true was what they say. to the point that it was actually indeed "too good to be true" because we failed.