Through The Dark COMPLETED

Chapter 45

Amanda came into JJ's room to get ready for the party.  She was a bit nervous herself, so she was sure JJ was going to be quite nervous.  Amanda watched JJ sitting at the vanity putting her make-up on.  "Hey, how you doing?"

Julie looked in the mirror at Amanda.  "I'm alright, Panda.  I'm glad we did the presents earlier as Harry made me bawl, but I'm good.  How are you?"  She asked looking back at herself and trying to get her eyeliner right.  "God, I hate make-up."

Amanda laughed and took the eye liner from JJ.  "Let me help you; you know you always look amazing though.  You do a good job."  She sat down in front of JJ and helped apply the rest of JJ's make-up.  She applied a little bit more than JJ usually used, but it was a special occasion and she wanted to help JJ feel as beautiful as she thought she was.  "Want help with your hair too?"

Julie looked in the mirror and stared for a minute.  "Panda."  She was amazed.  "How did you do that?"  She couldn't believe how blue her eyes looked and how full her lips looked.  "You're amazing."  She looked up at her.  "Yeah, I guess so, if you have time."

"I have time.  We can go whenever we are ready.  The boys can wait."  She said as she grabbed the brush and stood behind JJ.  They hadn't had a moment like this in a long time, and JJ had never let her do her make-up and hair before.  She always told Amanda it wasn't necessary.  But then again, she had always tried to stay out of the center of attention before.  Amanda understood now why Julie didn't want to go out much before.  "JJ, can I ask you something?"

"You just did."  Julie said looking at her bracelet on her wrist.

"That bracelet's beautiful.  Harry did a great job."  They had shown each other their gifts earlier.  They were very lucky girls.  "But yes, smart ass, seriously.  Did you ever go out?  Before, everything happened?"

Julie took a deep breath.  She knew Amanda was curious about her past.  She never shared much.  But it was still hard.  She wasn't that girl anymore.  Not the one before Johnny, not the one with Johnny, and really not the one she had been a few weeks ago.  "Not really.  I was 19 going on 20 when I got with Johnny.  He was slightly older.  I was basically young and naïve.  We had a good time at first.  Mutual friends and all.  Then we became serious.  I was with him all the time.  He never wanted me to go out without him, and when we went out together, I was basically just there."

Amanda shook her head.  "I wish I had been in Wisconsin instead of Iowa.  I would have never let that happen to you."

"Panda, you would have been what, 17, when we got together?  It was my choice.  I just never knew how it was supposed to be in a relationship.  I thought he knew.  I thought he loved me.  We moved in together and then that was it.  Once that happened, he pretty much knew he had all the power and control.  And I was just too scared to change it.  I had a lot of dreams.  I got my tattoo at 18, I wanted nothing more than to reach for the sun, moon, and stars.  I was a small-town girl with big city dreams."  Julie said looking at the bracelet again.  "I was always writing.  Always dreaming of getting out and writing for a career.  I was told to get my head out of the clouds.  Get a job, go to school, and stop thinking anything could come from a notebook full of words.  My family always thought I was too much of a dreamer, not enough of a realist.  Johnny fell right into that.  I was always told I wasn't good enough.  One day I came home to Johnny with my notebook."  Julie didn't know why she was spilling all of this.  It probably wasn't the time.  "I'm sorry.  This can wait."  She said picking up the blush brush and playing with it.

"No, it's good.  JJ, keep talking."  Amanda said brushing slowly through JJ's hair.  She wanted to hear this.  It would help her understand.  She glanced towards the door and saw Harry leaning on the doorframe.  He put his finger to his lips to stay quiet.  Amanda nodded.  "Come on JJ.  Let's hear about you."