Destiel - Finding Our Love Again

Memories

Chapter 5 - Memories

Castiel was shaken by the images that he had hoped he would never have to see again. All of the screams echoed around his head as he lay on the bed with Dean beside him in a chair.

Dean's screams had always been the loudest and as he lay silently they were the ones that rang out above all the others; the one that haunted him the most. It was the worst sound that he'd ever heard and every time that it shot through his head he felt close to tears and swore that he'd do anything to never hear those screams on earth.

He didn't know how he could get it out of his head. Angels were never destined for hell and he had assumed that this was why he was so deeply affected but he hoped that it would stop. It had to stop.

The screams were deafening and they clawed at his will to carry on every day, weakening it. He was finding it hard as every second that the screams flooded his mind he began to doubt that he could go on. He didn't want to lose Dean but he feared that if the visions continued he may have to leave.

OoO

Dean could see that Castiel wasn't alright. He'd only just got him back and he knew that he wasn't going to return to him fully recovered but this was heart breaking and he didn't know how to help.

That was what was probably ripping him apart more than anything; the fact that he didn't know what to do to help relieve any of the pain that seemed to be surging through Castiel's mind and body. He just didn't know what to do and it was eating him alive.

As he sat beside Castiel in a chair that was less than comfortable he wondered if reminding him of the things he had there would help. He seemed to be remembering the things that he'd suffered through when he'd died. He needed reminding that everything he would ever need could be found right with Dean and the other Winchesters -Bobby counted in that-.

He looked up at Castiel. He had his back to him and his trench coat was flopped over the edge of the bed hanging and grazing Dean's leg lightly. Even with his back turned, Dean could see Castiel's hair sticking up in different directions in his usual 'bed head' style that suited him perfectly. Dean smiled lightly thinking of the times that he'd lain beside him and just ran his hand through it softly.

He could tell he was awake so he spoke up, "Hey Cass. Can you come for a walk with me?"

Castiel turned to look at Dean and he was immediately captivated by the lush green in the man's eyes that he'd missed so much. They were completely clear of the fear and pain that had clouded them in his visions and Castiel couldn't take his own away.

Dean just looked back into the blue eyes that had always reminded him of the perfectly clear summer sky that he secretly cherished. Castiel was perfect in his eyes and he had to make him feel better; remind him of how much he loved him and all the times that they'd shared.

"Yes," Castiel replied quietly as he swung his feet off the bed and stood beside Dean.

"Thank you," Dean said with a small smile as he slipped his hand over Castiel's small one. It fit in his perfectly. He never wanted to let go of it again as long as he lived. He'd missed the feel of his smooth, warm skin against his own rough skin and he was indescribably happy to have the one person that he'd ever truly loved back.

OoO

Castiel wasn't sure where they were going as they stepped out of the house hand in hand but he knew that he didn't mind as long as he could keep his hand enclosed in Dean's. It felt so right to be back with his hand in Dean's and his thumb brushing comfortingly over the back of his own hand.

Everything seemed better when he had Dean beside him and he would follow him anywhere because he loved him.

Castiel soon had his question answered as they hopped over the fence and into a field that he'd been in many a time before.

The grass had grown even more -if that was possible- since the last time that the two had been in the field but other than that it was exactly how he had remembered it. The sun was high in the sky and the blades of grass were a beautiful reflective green that made it look like a green sea as the wind blew each individual blade. The field seemed to stretch on for miles as Castiel looked over it and sighed happily.

The happy memory of their 'hide and seek tig' game hit him as he looked out, captivated by the scene.

"It's just as we left it," Dean muttered as he squeezed Castiel's hand lightly and followed his gaze to look over it happily. The untamed grass was now waist height as Dean had sworn to never cut it. He had remembered the time that they'd laid in the long grass and just embraced in a comfortable silence and he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"W-why are we here?" Castiel asked holding loosely onto Dean's hand and squinting at the sun that was shining above them.

"I just wanted to sit with you. After what happened last night with those visions or whatever, I thought that you needed some time to relax. Being cramped in the house isn't going to do you any good so I thought that we could go somewhere together," Dean said turning and holding both Castiel's hand in his own, "I've missed you so much."

"I missed you too, more than you could ever imagine," Castiel muttered placing his forehead against Dean's and closing his eyes. The screams died down inside his head and he could think for himself for the first time since he'd got back and all he could think about was Dean.

His stubble tickled Castiel's palm as he held Dean's face and pushed his lips gently to his.

As Dean pulled back for breath he smiled at Castiel and brushed a small curl of hair out of his face, "What was that for?"

Castiel just smiled and sat down amidst the long grass patting a spot beside him.

Dean laughed slightly and say beside him and pulled Castiel down so his head rested on his chest. Castiel let out a squeak of shock as he fell onto Dean's chest which was vibrating from the laughter that currently erupted from him.

"What was that?" Dean spluttered through laughter.

"Nothing," Castiel muttered, his cheeks turning bright red in embarrassment, "I wasn't ready for that."

Dean smiled and his chest stopped shaking as he fell quiet; just holding Castiel and looking at him curled on his chest. He'd missed him and having him back almost felt unreal; he didn't want to let him go.

The warm breeze blew over them and carried the sweet smell of daisies from a neighbouring field. It ruffled their hair as they just enjoyed each other's company in the field that held so much happiness for them. Every second that they were together Castiel became more relaxed and the screams continued to die down until they were only a dull mumble in the back of his mind. He snuggled closer to Dean and breathed in his musk that he had missed so much.

"I love you," Dean muttered stroking Castiel's hair and looking at him with love in his eyes.

Castiel blushed slightly and looked at Dean who was smiling down at him. He saw the love that was held in his eyes and knew that he had to be the luckiest man alive. He had someone that loved him no matter what happened and he was never going to leave him.

"I love you too Dean."

Author Note: This was a nice chapter to write after all the sadness and angst of the previous ones but unfortunately the storyline has to move on so not too many random happy chapters like this. However, if you want to see some sort of chapter then send me a prompt and I shall fit it in somewhere!