I stand there, my hands in the pockets of my sweatshirt, staring at her face.
She's still out from the surgery. They caught the whole gang, and they're all in jail with multiple charges. Tori and Daniel got away scot free.
Daniel is in here too, but I want my face to be the first face she sees when she wakes up.
I notice her eyes moving behind her lids.
I don't move.
She's been out for hours.
She slowly opens her eyes, blinking a few times.
The heart monitor speeds up a little when she realizes she's in the hospital.
Instead of her eyes landing on me though, they land on Daniel. She doesn't notice anything else but Daniel.
She swallows.
"Felicity." She mumbles. "Is she hurt?"
Daniel nods in my direction.
She turns her head, her eyes locking with mine.
Silence.
Nobody speaks.
Just then, my phone chimes.
I glance down at it.
Mrs. Beckett: Hey hun, I know you're having a hard time but I just want you to know I have enough left for two and a half bottles. Also, Owen has a fever.
I take a deep breath.
I'll text her back in a bit.
"Daniel said you're going to rehab after this. Is that true?" I ask Tori quietly.
She stares at me for a long time, and then she sighs.
"No."
"No what?" I ask.
"No. It's not true. And honestly, I wish that the guy shot you instead of Daniel."
Silence.
I take a deep breath.
"I am done. I've reached my wits end." My voice is eerily calm. "I've done everything but called the cops on you. I left my family for you. My infant. My son is sick, and my daughter needs breast milk. I'm done, Victoria. I'm done trying to rescue you. Don't put anything on me, because what you're going through is nobody's fault but your own. Life is about choices. And you're making all the wrong ones. Until you decide to make the right ones, I don't want you anywhere near me or my children."
And I turn around and walk out.
Shane follows me.
He stops me before the elevator, putting his hand in mine.
"Are you sure about this, baby?"
I look at him.
"Yes. I'm not dealing with this anymore."
He nods slowly.
"Alright."
<><>
We ended up home, and after I reassured everyone that nothing was wrong, Shane's family left. Shane went out and replaced my phone.
I'm happy again. It's been four months. Odette is five months, and Owen is five now.
The snow is melted, but it's still cold.
It's very early May, May third.
In Louisiana, I would be going in the pool.
I stare at my frozen swimming pool.
Odette is in the walker and Owen is in playing with toys.
Shane is working today, he's in the city.
My phone starts ringing, causing me to jump.
Owen grabs it and runs to me.
"Here you go Mommy!"
"Thank you baby."
Life is good. Shutting everyone out has helped me be happier. It was too much of a negative energy. Shane and I are close like how we used to be, and the kids are very healthy and very happy.
I press answer on my phone.
"Hello?"
"Felicity?"
I hesitate. I don't recognize the voice.
"Yes..."
"It's Kaitlin." She says.
The manager of my store.
"Oh. Okay. Right, what's going on?"
"We're packed. I hate to have to ask you but is there any way you can come in today?"
I look down at my kids.
Shane is in Chicago.
I take a deep breath.
"I'll pull some strings." I say.
"Okay. Thank you." She sounds stressed.
"No problem." I say. "I'll see you soon."
"Okay bye."
"Bye." I go to hang up, but the line clicks before I can.
I sigh, looking at my children.
Shane is doing interviews today and checking in on things. None of our family lives around us.
I take the kids into my bedroom while I shower, and I dress quickly in a black tight skirt. All the baby weight is gone and I've been working out to get the muscle back. I put on a tan long sleeve shirt that goes just to the length of the skirt. I have a black lacy push-up bra on and a matching thong. I'm freshly shaven. I blow dry my hair and curl it and put on what I need of makeup. I brush my teeth and roll on deodorant and just one squirt of my perfume.
I bathe the kids and blow dry Owen hair after because I don't want him getting sick.
I put him in underwear, jeans, a white t shirt, and a gray button down jacket. I put him in black vans, too.
I put Odette in a white long sleeve shirt with a gold heart on it, pink pants, and tan boots. I put a white knit hat on her head.
I grab my purse and pack a bag of toys and refill the diaper bag and pack two changes of clothes for Odette and one change for Owen. I put pumped milk in a lunchbox. I pack the car, and I buckle the kids in. I lock the house and get in the car. I turn the heat on low, and dial Shane.
He doesn't pick up. I sigh.
I drive to the neighbors house and park in the driveway.
I move everything out of the way from their reach and shut the car off. I leave them in the car and walk up to the door and ring the bell.
It's 11 in the morning.
The father of the house opens the door.
"Hey Felicity." He says.
"Hey. Is Hayden here?" I ask.
"No she's not. Is everything okay?"
I take a deep breath.
"Yes, it's okay. Thanks anyways."
I leave, getting in the car.
I sit there, looking at the kids in the rear view mirror.
If it was just Owen, I'd say screw it and bring him to work with me. I can sit him down and some toys in an empty room and check on him every now and again.
But now it's Odette and she's a baby.
I stare at the steering wheel and try Shane again. He doesn't pick up, so I call the store.
"Swisswich subs, this is Jason, what can I do for you today?"
I hesitate.
"Is Shane there?" I ask.
"Shane?" He repeats.
"Your boss." I say.
He hesitates.
"Yes. He's busy right now."
"Is he doing an interview?"
"Yes, who is this?"
"Can you go tell him to call Felicity when he's done please?"
"Felicity." He repeats. "I'll do it right now."
After a few seconds, he says, "excuse me sir?"
Shane knows I don't bother him at work unless I need to. He's the same way.
"I was told to tell you to call Felicity when you're not busy."
It's loud in the sub shop and I can't hear Shane's reply.
"He asked me to ask you if it's a 112."
112 is a key for emergency. Meaning one of the kids is sick enough for me to panic, something is wrong with me, I'm stranded, somebody is in the hospital in the family, I got into a car accident, minor or not, or something bad.
111 is something that's just under an emergency, where the hot water heater is broken, one of the kids are sick but they're not too sick. Or there's an emergency at work and I've got nowhere to bring the kids.
110 is something that's bad, but not that bad.
Like, if I have to go into work but I have somewhere to put the kids, or I'm home and the power goes out. Things like that.
"No, tell him it's a 111 please."
"She said it's a 111." He says. It's quiet for a second. "He said he will call you when he's done with the interview."
"Okay. Thank you Jason."
"You're welcome. Bye."
"Bye."
I hang up.
I have no clue what to do.
I want to be selfish and tell him it's a 112 but I'm not going to.
I drum my fingers on the steering wheel.
The neighbor behind us has two kids and he watches Pepper when we leave.
I drive over to his house.
He isn't home.
I go park back at home, and right when I put the car in park, I notice Hayden on my porch. She sees me pull in and walks up to the car.
She's always our babysitter. The kids love her, and she loves them. She's seventeen and watching our kids and literally her job.
I roll my window down.
"Dad said you were looking for me." She says.
I nod, sighing.
"What are your plans for today?" I ask. I get out because I don't want to be rude.
"Nothing, why?"
"Because I got called into work and Shane is in Chicago. I know you probably don't want to, but if you could..." I cringe.
"I'll do it. There's a concert coming and I want front row seats, I need the money." She laughs.
I sigh. "Thank you so much. Do you want to watch them at my house or at yours?"
"Mine, if I can." She says.
I nod. "That's fine. Also, don't let anyone but me or Shane pick them up, even if it's like a close family member."
"Okay." She says.
I give her the kids.
"Call my or Shane is anything. I'm not sure who will be home first."
"Okay."
I kiss the kids goodbye and help her bring them into her house.
"No Mommy." Owen holds my hand. "Where are you going?"
I kneel in front of him.
"I have to go to work, baby. Me or Daddy will be here to pick you up."
"Okay." He looks sad.
"Behave for Hayden, okay? I love you."
"I love you too."
He throws his little arms around my neck. I hug him back, and then I kiss his cheek and he kisses mine. I stand up.
"Are you sure you can watch him?"
I always make sure.
"Yes." She says.
"Okay. Thank you so much."
"You're welcome."
I leave, rushing to the car, the sound of my tan heels clicking on the driveway.
I get in the car and text Shane.
Me: it's a 110 now, in case you can't get ahold of me, I had to go to work. The kids are with Hayden
I start to drive, heading into work.
When I get there, I'm panicked.
The parking lot is overflown.
I sigh, parking in the grass on the side of the building. I rush inside the front door.
It's completely packed. We have a small waiting room with about fifteen chairs or so, and it's full.
So full that there's maybe ten or so people standing.
Damn.
I take a deep breath, walking into the back.
I find Kaitlin.
"Talk to me." I say.
"It's packed. There's two hour waits for adopting dogs, there's three people bringing in dogs that we don't have room for right now, we're almost completely out of dog food, and cat food. Not to mention, the last person to organize the adoption files did it wrong and now they're all out of place. Plus, Danielle got too stressed and quit, and Jane followed her, so it's only me and like ten volunteers and Quinn and Jonas."
"The adoptions are taking so long because it takes a while to arrange the files?" I ask.
"Yes. Plus, there's a cat that needs an emergency surgery."
Fuck.
I grab a piece of paper and make a list.
"First, throw out all the files and reprint all of them. Then focus on adoptions. Get as many people out of here, and then take in the new animals. I'll take care of the food after I give the cat surgery."
She nods, and everyone starts scrambling.
I go right into surgery with the cat, and then put a cone on and put it in a cage and set a timer for an hour and pin it to my skirt. My purse and phone are in the locker.
I come back to a jammed printer.
I sigh.
"Do what you can, I'm running out." I say.
"Okay."
I back up all the files to a flash drive, and floor it to Fed Ex because there's a kinkos in there.
I plug the business card into it and I print out all the files one by one and put the animal names on them as put them in folders.
Soon enough, I have 203 files printed. I get a new printer for the store and pay and leave.
I rush back to the office and give the files to Kaitlin. I leave again, and I go to let smart and I buy out the entire supply of blue buffalo. I leave and go back, restocking the food. They start working on adoptions. I send volunteers to clean stalls and take care of the animals, making sure they get their medicines.
I start working on adoptions too, and then I start taking more animals in.
It's completely slammed.
The more people we get out, just as much people come in. We've done forty five adoptions.
I glance at the time, and it's three in the afternoon.
We close at eight.
I do the vet exam on all the new animals, some are heartworm positive. I get their medicines set and put the healthy ones in with their new papers and their descriptions.
We're getting animals adopted as fast as we're getting new ones in.
I make sure to be polite to people and not to rush them too bad.
The store phone is ringing off the hook, but it's too busy for us to grab it.
I'm starving and exhausted and want this to end.
I keep working.
And working.
And working.
And volunteers start to leave and I'm ready to scream. Around dinner time, it slows down. Then seven third comes.
And then eight.
And now we're closed.
So we clean up. I put up a now hiring sign and anything else to get people to work work here, including ads online, and then I pull my phone out of my purse. I go around and give the animals that take medicine at night their medicine and I give all of them food, and I leave.
It's nine thirty.
I check my messages.
I have two missed calls.
They're both from Shane, and I have a text.
Cuddlebug: I'm staying in the penthouse tonight, it was slammed today.
Cuddlebug: nevermind I'm coming home
The last one was seven minutes ago.
That means Hayden still has the kids.
I text her.
Me: I am so sorry it's so late, I thought Shane would be home by now. I'm on my way to get the kids, did they eat?
Hayden: yeah they did
Me: okay great
She had them since eleven this morning and it's almost ten.
We had agreed when she first agreed to be our babysitter we'd give her two dollars a kid per hour.
So she gets 440 dollars.
I go to the bank and take it out, and then I head home. I park at home in the garage and immediately walk over to her house. I knock.
She opens the door.
"I'm so sorry." I sigh.
"It's okay." She lets me in.
"How were they?" I ask. Owen is playing with toys and Odette is on a play mat on the floor on her stomach with toys.
"They were really good." She says. "No problems at all. Odette's last bottle was about an hour ago. Owen had chicken nuggets and tater tots for dinner."
"Okay great." I say. "Thank you so much." I hand her the money. "Ready to go?" I ask the kids.
Excited, Owen stands up.
All their stuff is packed but the mat and the toys. I pack them and pick Odette up. Owen puts his shoes on and I sling the bags over my shoulder. I parked in the garage and I left the door open. I walk leave with the kids.
"Did you have fun?" I look down at Owen. His small hand is in mine.
"I had lots of fun." He says.
"That's good kiddo."
I walk him inside and into the living room. I bring them upstairs and change their clothes.
As I change Odette's diaper, Owen sits in her rocking chair.
"Mommy?" Owen whispers, sad.
I look at him.
"Yes?"
"Is Daddy coming back?"
I look at him.
"Yes. Of course he is. Why wouldn't Daddy come back?"
"I don't know." He says.
"Daddy is coming back honey."
"Well it's just that you got really hurt and you almost didn't come back and then you left again."
"I'm back baby. Daddy is coming back. He will be home tonight."
"He will?" He asks.
"Yes. I promise he will."
"Okay."
So I nurse Odette and put her to bed, and then I go shower and get in bed, and Owen lays in his underwear next to me, and we watch cartoons together.
I text Shane.
Me: did you eat dinner
Cuddlebug: no. Did you?
Me: no
Cuddlebug: what do you want to eat
Me: sushi
Cuddlebug: okay I'll come home with some
So I lay with Owen, running my fingers through his hair. He starts falling asleep.
"Do you want to go to bed baby?"
"No Momma. I want to see Daddy first."
"Okay." I whisper.
So he watches his shows, and he falls asleep.
I start to drift too, but I miss Shane. He was gone before me or the kids were up so I haven't seen him one today. And last night we were out by eleven.
I struggle to stay away, but I end up fall asleep anyways.
<><>
I wake up to the sound of footsteps downstairs.
Panicked, I look at the clock.
12:11AM.
I went to sleep at like eleven.
I stiffen in bed.
The footsteps start coming up the stairs.
I pull the blankets further up on Owen.
A moment later though, Shane walks in.
I relax.
"You're home." I whisper.
He looks exhausted.
"Yeah." He leans down to kiss my forehead. Owen stirs in his sleep, and then he lifts his head up.
"Daddy?" He mumbles.
"Hey kiddo." Shane gives him a tired smile. He scoops him out of bed. "Let's get you to sleep. Want me to read you a bedtime story?"
"Yes please. Goodnight Mommy."
"Goodnight baby."
Shane carries him to his bedroom.
I start to fall asleep again, and then I do.
<><>
I feel the bed sink down, pulling me out of sleep. I open my eyes, lazily turning my head.
It's Shane, getting in bed fully clothed, shoes and everything.
I roll over towards him.
He looks exhausted. I tug him to sit up and pull his shirt off, and then I take his shoes and socks off and undo his jeans and pat his thighs. He lifts himself up and I pull them down. He crawls under the blanket and pulls me flush against his chest. I cling to him, and I start to fall asleep again.
"Sushi's in the fridge." He mumbles, half awake.
"Tomorrow." I say into his chest.
He shifts a little.
"I want to move." He mumbles.
I shift.
"Move?" I ask.
He nods.
"I'm tired of this place. I want a new start. New people. New life."
I study him. He opens his eyes to look at me.
I hesitate.
"To where?" I whisper.
"Florida."
Beaches. No more snow to shovel.
"Okay."
He looks more awake now.
"Okay?" He asks.
"Okay." I nod.
