"Are you sure about this?" I ask Shane.
"Yes." He says. "Are you?"
I look back at the door.
"Yes."
I let him do it this time.
He shuts the front door, locks it, and hands the key to the realtor.
I look at the moving van, and my car with the trailer with his car on it.
Odette is six months now. We found a place in Largo, Florida. It's directly on the beach and it's about twenty minutes out of Tampa.
It's beautiful.
We haven't told a soul we're moving yet. We leave our old house with the realtor, and we leave.
<><>
We got a hotel and I'm Georgia. Now it's the next morning and we're fully rested and in the hotel.
I decide it's time. I dial Mrs. Beckett. It's June.
She picks up on the third ring.
"Nana!" Owen says, excited.
"Hi Owen!" She says.
"Hey Mom." Shane says.
"Hi sweetie. What's going on with everything?"
"We're moving." I say.
"Moving?" She repeats.
"Yes. To Florida."
"Oh wow." She says.
She starts questions us, and we give her the address and invite the family for the forth of July and make sure they know not to tell anybody in my family.
She agrees, and we hang up, and then we head out again.
<><>
We unpacked when we got here and I'm loving life. It's been another two weeks, and I don't regret the decision of moving here at all.
We spend days on the beach because it's in our backyard. We swim and explore. We love it. My pet place is already nation wide so I just work from the one closest to here, and Shane does the same.
I am really emotional today, standing on the balcony, watching the rain pour down.
Macy and I drifted apart. I don't talk to my family anymore.
I don't talk to my own Mom anymore.
My dad.
We had a good relationship. A great one.
And I want to call him, just to hear his voice, but he must hate me now. And my little sister. She was never like this. Cutting them off was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I haven't really spoken much to anyone today.
I stare at the ocean waves. They're wild, crashing angrily against the shore.
I wonder how Tori is doing.
How my parents are going.
I miss my dad.
Shane comes up behind me.
He's holding Odette, and Owen is peeking off the balcony.
"Are you going to tell me what's running through your mind today?" Shane whispers.
I take a deep breath, slowly.
Walls are a thing of the past with us. Anything happens and I tell him. He always knows.
"Nothing much." I say quietly.
"Mm hmm." He hums, kissing my neck from behind.
I take a deep breath.
"All these memories with Tori keep hitting me. Days we spent on the beach as a child. Days we spent swimming, hiding in one of our rooms while our parents fought. And now she hates my guts. I'm getting memories of my Dad and I, best friends, and my Mom and I, going and getting our nails done. My prom. Everything. The wedding. Owen's birth. Life was great. It was incredible. I don't get why it can't be that way again. It's great of course, and I'm grateful for all that I have, but I lost my whole family in order for it to get this way."
He studies my face for a long time.
"You miss your Dad." He whispers.
"I miss my Dad. I miss my Mom. I miss Tori. The real Tori."
HIs eyes search mine.
"Do you want to contact them? See how she's doing?"
"I don't know." I whisper, looking down. "I feel like I'm grasping at strings."
"I think when the real Tori comes back, she will come to you."
He's right.
I take a deep breath, nodding.
"Yeah, you're probably right."
I go in the house, downstairs.
He follows me, and the kids follow him.
<><>
I'm going through old photos and videos on my phone. Shane is next to me in bed, and the kids are asleep in their own beds. It's around ten.
I shift my head on Shane's chest, and we're both looking at my phone.
I'm just scrolling through photos of us or the kids or joking photos with me and his brothers, me mid air when I'm getting thrown in the pool, Chase mid air when I shoved him into the pool.
I'm smiling when I see one of Shane and I at the bar from the first night we ever met.
He's sitting next to me, this is before I was drunk, and we had the waiter take the photo of all of us.
It's me and him and Jake and Macy and heather and Jeremy.
We're all smiling and I look really good.
Everyone is looking at the camera but one. Shane.
He's looking at me.
I never noticed that before. His eyes are locked on my face.
I study it for a long time.
"You didn't even look in the camera." I whisper.
"I had something much prettier to look at." He murmurs.
I scroll to the next one and see it of us playing pool. I'm bending over the pool table and he's behind me.
His eyes are on my ass, one of his hands is in his pocket, but the other one is running through his hair.
He looks frustrated.
I laugh into his chest.
"You had me dying." He says. "I wanted you for you, but I wanted you for your body too."
I sigh, smiling.
"I know, you really were stuck on me."
"I still am." He says.
Sighing, I scroll to the next photo.
Our wedding photo.
When people look at this, there's no mistaking we're in love. My hands are on his chest, and his are on my waist. Our forehead are pressed together, and we're peering into it eyes with pure love.
After, I scroll to the next, and it's photos of us during the first dance.
And then I scroll again. It's a video.
I press play.
The second the song starts, my heart hurts.
Before the singer even sings, my throat tightens, and I feel tears fill them.
It's my Dad and I.
He was talking to me, and we were dancing.
The memory hits me.
