1 / 5
We stand there in silence. His hands are in his pockets and my arms are folded across my chest.
"I'm sorry." He whispers. "I am so sorry."
Silence.
I look up, my eyes locking with his.
"You should have trusted me." I whisper. "You made it seem to everyone that I was a cheater. Even to the cop. You made everyone turn against me. You turned against me, Shane. The one person that is supposed to be on my side and defend me no matter what, turned against me."
"I'm sorry baby." He says. "I fucked up. I called you a whore. And a bitch. I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry."
I study him for a long, long time.
There's nothing else to say but sorry. He didn't make excuses, he apologized.
I let out a slow breath, sinking onto the bed.
"I forgive you." I whisper.
He kneels in front of me.
"You do?"
His eyes are soft again, searching mine, but I still see pain.
"I do." I nod.
He looks relieved. "Okay."
I sigh.
2 / 5
"I forgive you Shane, but..." I shake my head. "You don't trust me. If you did, this wouldn't have happened. How do I have a marriage with somebody who doesn't trust me?"
"Felicity..." he trails off. "Don't leave me."
The way he's looking at me...
I stare at him, my heart hurting.
"I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry for freaking out and calling you a liar. I'm sorry for swearing at you. I'm sorry I didn't trust you, but baby, I do trust you, I just didn't in the moment, and if it was flipped, you would have doubts about us too. I think you need to think about what you'd have done if the situation was flipped. I love you, darling. Please just don't go."
I stare at him for a long time.
"When Heather was all over you," I start.
"You knew Heather. If it was a stranger."
I think about it long and hard.
He's right. I'd have flipped my lid too.
I take a deep breath.
"You're right." I say.
"I trust you, baby, but in the moment..." He shakes his head.
I open my mouth to reply, but a phone starts ringing downstairs.
I sigh, but neither one of us move to get the phone.
I open my mouth to tell him it's okay when my Mom bellows from downstairs, "Felicity! I know this is a bad time but someone is on the phone for you!"
I look at Shane.
"It's okay, I'm over it, I'm ready to move on."
"You are?" his face lights up.
"Yes." I kiss his cheek. "I love you."
"I love you too."
I go downstairs, and he follows me.
Everyone looks worried. Shane just kinda stands by the stairs with his arms crossed. I take the phone from my Mom.
"Hello?"
3 / 5
There's a pause, and then, "Hi."
Lauren.
I hesitate. Everyone can see the hesitation on my face.
"Lauren?" I ask slowly.
"Yeah."
Everything with Lauren is complicated. It's my Mom's fault honestly.
It's not but it is.
Ever since she got pregnant and I told her I wouldn't take her baby, she's hated me. I accepted that. I moved on. Then, come my death bed, my Mom calls her even though Lauren hates Owen and treats him terribly, and Lauren shows up in Chicago and gives blood to keep me alive. I thanked her and Shane thanked her and even Owen thanked her, and I haven't seen or heard from her since.
"How's life?" She asks.
"Good..."
"That's good."
Silence.
I stand there, waiting.
I honestly don't want to deal with this.
I hope my mouth to ask her what she wants, but she starts talking.
"I know we're not really on good terms...but I was going through my photos and I just um...I miss you."
I was heartbroken over what happened. I run my fingers through my hair, frustrated.
I took so long to move on.
I'm not getting myself hurt again.
I panic and hang up.
I'm ready for this day to be over.
I look at the clock. 7:01PM.
"I'm going to go-"
"No Mommy!" Owen sobs.
He sprints across the room at me, literally pushing me into Shane with all of his six year old strength. I step back, slamming into his chest.
"Love Daddy again! Don't leave!"
4 / 5
He's hysterical.
I've never seen my son this aggressive before.
He's loving.
But right now he's a scared little boy who doesn't want Mommy and Daddy to break up.
I crouch down in front of him, putting my hands on his shoulders.
"Daddy and I are okay sweetie. We already made up."
"You mean it?" He asks. "You didn't break up? You were leaving!"
"Look at this."
I hold my left hand out.
"Do you see these rings?" I ask.
He nods, rubbing his eyes.
"Daddy put those there." I say. "Do you know why?"
Sniffling, he shakes his head.
"These rings are the key to Daddy's heart." I say. "And Daddy gave it to me. Do you know why?"
He shakes his head, sniffling.
"Because Daddy loves me. These rings mean that I own the key to Daddy's heart."
I grab Shane's left hand.
"And this one," Shane crouches down next to me, showing Owen the ring. "Is the key to Mommy's heart. She gave it to me because she loves me."
"If you love each other, why were you screaming bad names at each other?"
"Because when you love somebody..." I say, hesitating. "You get protective." I say. "And Daddy was upset because he thought I did something bad, and I was upset because Daddy was upset."
"But you didn't do anything wrong?"
"Right." I nod.
Owen looks at Shane.
"Are you still mad at Mommy?"
"No I'm not." Shane sits down on the second stair.
"So you love Mommy again?"
Shane hesitates.
5 / 5
Why did he hesitate.
I start to panic a little, but he takes a deep breath.
"Owen, I never stopped loving Mommy, even when I was really mad at her. No matter how mad I get at her, I will always love her. She has the key to my heart, and I have the key to hers. How could I love somebody else?"
I smile softly.
"And you still love Daddy?" He asks me.
"I will always love Daddy, no matter what."
He looks like he feels a lot better now.
He looks down at his hands, and then back at us.
"Group hug?"
Shane picks him up, and Tori brings Odette over to us, and I put her in my lap, and I sit down next to Shane, and the four of us group hug.
After a moment, both the kids start squirming, so we pull away.
Odette's diaper is full. Owen gets off Shane's lap. He's over the situation, so he goes to play.
I stand up to go upstairs, and Shane stands up too.
"Do you guys want to go do something? Torit asks. "Dessert? Maybe we can go to the mall or something."
I was goin to just go to sleep.
I just want the day to end, I feel like going out again is a bad idea.
I want to sleep until tomorrow.
Everyone says yes though, so I kind of have to go.
I agree, and then I go upstairs.
I take Odette to her room and start changing her diaper.
I wipe her up and put desitin on her, and fasten her diaper.
I pick her up and turn around to get her an outfit, but Shane is behind me, and I slam right into his chest.
"Sorry." I mumble.
Awkward. Why is that so awkward?
Why do I feel so awkward?
I'm standing in our daughters bedroom, holding our child, and it feels awkward.
I just stay silent, changing Odette's outfit.
He just kind of stands there, and I don't say anything.
I get her all changed, and then I turn around, ready to go downstairs, but he's still there.
I hesitate when I see him again, and I go to step around him.
"Felicity." He whispers.
The way he says it runs chills down my back.
I look down at the floor and shut my eyes. My back is to him.
My heart hurts.
I need to get out of here.
I just walk out of the room, downstairs. I hand Odette to my Mom, and I grab Owen and go upstairs. I change his clothes too, and send him downstairs, and then I go into Shane and I's room.
I go into our closet, and start looking for something else to put on.
I can feel him standing there.
I can't find anything good. I'm looking for some type of sundress or something.
But his eyes are digging into the side of my head, and it's hard because I'm standing in our house, in our bedroom, with our kids downstairs, our family downstairs, and I'm feeling uncomfortable and awkward.
The pain in my chest intensifies.
I slowly lift my head to look at his face.
He looks hurt.
My eyes study his for a long time, and I just stand there facing him with my arms by my side.
There was something missing in that argument, something that I think is bothering both of us.
And I was scared it wouldn't show up.
But as I stand here feeling awkward, exactly what was missing shows up.
My tears.
I bite my lip, looking down.
I try to fight it as hard as I can, but I can't.
It starts with one sob, and another, and another, and then I'm standing there in the closet sobbing my eyes out into my hands. I feel his fingers touching my arm, and then his hands, and then he pulls me against his chest, wrapped in his arms. I wrap my arms around his body.
He holds onto me while I cry, rubbing my back.
"Do you want me to tell everyone to take the kids and go without us?"
I ball his t-shirt in my hands.
I know there's no way I'm stopping any time soon.
"Go without me." I mumble.
"That's not happening."
Somebody knocks on the open bedroom door.
I tense.
He pulls away from me and walks out of the closet.
"Are you guys coming?"
It's my Mom.
"Can you guys go without us?" Shane asks her. "And bring the kids? If you can. If not they can stay home."
"You guys can't come? Felicity needs time with Tori. Surely she can come."
"She can't." Shane says.
Mom huffs loudly and I hear her footsteps disappear down the hall.
She comes back after a second.
"If you didn't fucking blame her for bullshit, none of this would be happening."
I wipe my tears so my face is just red.
"Mom, stay out of my relationship."
"You have no trust. No balance. No-"
"Says the one who got divorced with a man she was still in love with. Says the one who left her children to get fucked up. What's going on with my relationship is none of your business."
I guess I'm being loud, because Dad comes upstairs.
Mom looks like she wants to slap me.
"What's going on?"
"Mom ripped Shane's head off because I'm fucking upset and don't want to go to the mall!"
"And then your daughter got mad because I told her she has no trust or balance in her relationship and said, "says the one who got divorced with a man she was still in love with. Says the one who left her children to get fucked ho. What's going on in my relationship is none of your business."
Dad actually looks disappointed in me.
What is this bullshit.
"Felicity," he starts.
"If she thinks she's going to come up here and snap at my husband in our house because she's mad she isn't getting what she wants, she's wrong. That's not happening."
"Let's go downstairs and talk about this." Dad says calmly.
"No, I don't want my children to see me like this."
"You're just being stubborn." Mom snaps.
"No. When a kid sees their parent come downstairs crying, they get scared. I'm not going down there like this."
Mr. and Mrs. Beckett come upstairs.
"Please, this is a family matter." Mom says.
"They are family." I say, frustrated.
Mom looks pissed.
"I don't understand why this is such a big deal." Dad says. "She doesn't want to come, Francesca. Why does it matter?"
"It matters because she needs to spend time with Victoria."
"You don't want to come honey?" Mrs. Beckett asks.
"No, I don't."
"Oh. That's okay then. We can bring the kids."
"Fran, she can spend time with Victoria tomorrow." Dad says. "You're making it a huge deal. You're putting her and her husband down."
"She deserves it." Mom says quietly.
I stand there, and suddenly, I'm just exhausted.
Dad looks mad.
"You can leave." I say. I sound tired as I say it. "Just get out."
She looks surprised.
"Felicity," she starts.
"I love you Mom, but I've got to reach a point where I realize that you aren't going to change." Silence. "So you need to please leave."
