unconsciously searching

Chapter 16

The next week was hell. I spent most of my time in my room, throwing up and crying out of pain, my legs were killing me, it felt las if they were being stretched. I'm sure you have never experienced withdrawal before but let me tell you, it's not fun. The whole week I had a fever and I couldn't sleep at all. It's been 36 hours since I last slept and I'm telling you I'm about to rip my own head off.

"Please? Give me something!"

I yelled

"Nothing's going to help other than rest Gem"

"I can't sleep though!"

"Please just try"

I threw my face into my pillow and screamed

I have had few visitors come in the last week.

Mr Collins has been here every day, I'm actually surprised he is still putting up with me because all I ever do is yell at him.

Beth came by yesterday and it took all my strength not to yell but I didn't, for her I could do anything.

We talked about school and then I told her that I still wanted to take her out on a real date. She smiled and said yes. I swear that's the first thing I'm doing when I get out of this place .

Other then that, no one had dropped by, not even my social worker.

I didn't know where I was going to go after I got out of here, I certainly wasn't going back to Mark.

I pulled up the bucket that laid beside my bed and threw up. I moaned, my stomach muscles had been killing me because of how many times I had barfed.

"I see you're no better then when I left you"

Mr C entered my room, I looked up at him and nodded

"I feel like crap"

He sat down at his chair and nodded

"You knew it was going to be like this"

I sighed, that's true.

"I'm just so glad I get to get out of here soon, I'm so ready to eat anything that doesn't come out of a can.

"Your not going anywhere for awhile"

Doctor James said as he entered the room

I sat up "what, why?"

He flipped through his clip board

"You're being transferred to the Mental Ward in three days, we need to evaluate you"

I shook my head

"Why do we need to do that? I'm not crazy, I swear I'll never do anything like this again"

"Gem heroin doesn't account for your wrists"

I looked back down at my arms, still bandaged up. I had to get 147 stitches in my arms to seal up the cuts

"What these? I was high as I kite when I did that, I don't even remember doing it!"

He looked at me with an almost sarcastic grin on

"Sometimes the truth comes out at the funniest times Gem, wether you remember it or not your still written down as suicidal."

I let out a laugh

"I'm not though!"

"Gem, it's standard procedure. If your telling the truth you'll be out of here in a week."

I let out a frustrated moan

"I think by the time I get out of hear I WILL be suicidal"

Mr Collins laughed beside me

"Hang in there buddy"