unconsciously searching

Chapter 13

"Oh hell no. Gem wait outside please"

That was the reaction I was expecting to come from mr Collins as I stood in the doorway halfway through class time had already begun.

I the blood rush up to my face. I was embarrassed. I hated to think of what people thought about me. It made me sick.

I waited in the darkened hallway for what seemed to be forever. Suddenly, Mr Collins appeared beside me.

"Gem, what's going on?"

I wanted to say something so badly.

Who knows? I thought. Maybe he could help me.

But with every person that passed me in the hallway and with every look they sent my way I became more and more anxious.

I'm sure Mr C noticed this because shortly after he said

"Come with me"

I followed in his footsteps. He opened a door and we stepped in. I looked around, noticing it was an empty English classroom.

"I'm waiting for an explanation here. Is it someone at school?"

I assumed he meant my swollen eye and bloody lip. I shook my head.

"We'll?"

I began to shake.

Come on Gem, I thought.

Just say it. It's not hard. Just a few words.

I shook my head

Mr Collins looked at me confused

"You don't know?"

He said, his voice exasperated.

I shrugged. I couldn't tell him. I didn't want to. He couldn't make me.

"Gem, I'm only trying to help"

I shrugged again. My eyes wandered around the room, desperately trying to dry themselves.

"Gem please. I'm not going to get you I'm trouble"

I shook my head.

I could feel my self shaking

"Gem.."

"Everything's fine ok?"

He words came out of my mouth harsher then I had intended

"Gem look at you! You're not ok"

I took a step back from him

"Who are you to judge? You don't even know me!" I yelled

I took another step back, slightly scared of my own voice. I sounded so cold

"You don't know the first thing about me!"

I wrapped my arms around myself. My face ached and I was freezing

I gasped for air.

"I'm fine"

"Gem you're not"

"I said I am ok?"

I walked towards the door,

as I put my hand out to open it I noticed I was shaking

"Just leave me alone"

I opened the door and left.

I needed to get out of here

I needed to get away