Fighting Back

Remember me?

*The next day at school* *First period*

Brianna's P.O.V: 

I can't get over last night... I just lost him, I officially lost him. I gave him up.

We walk into class as I walk to my seat I remember.

Shit. I sit next to him this period... Great.

I walk to my seat as he wasn't paying attention due to the fact that he was talking to other classmates. 

It's not like he would notice me anyway.

I look over at him as he's facing the opposite way from me. He laughed and I noticed that I was smiling. 

 I just can't help it... I love him.

My smile soon faded as the teacher called our attention and he faced forward. My heart throbbing painfully but slowly. I couldn't even focus on the teacher's voice. I felt that every time I looked away he was just staring at me. His eyes burning lasers into the side of my face. 

God, I wanna look. Don't. I know...

The teacher's now incoherent talking kept fading me in an out of reality from my daydreams and thoughts. The only thing I heard was, "You can use the rest of the class time to just hang out"

Seems that this teacher is pretty easy going. 

But what is there to do in an elective. Nobody does anything in art anyway.

The room fills with voices as I sink deep into my thoughts. I zone out and think. I like zoning out because I feel like it takes me away from this reality that I never wanted to live in, so I daydream. I leave my body and enter deep into my mind. It's safer there, I like it there.

As I keep thinking and thinking my mind obviously roams to him. Tyler. And I just get lost in this wonderland that I feel like I already am in when I'm with him. Except in this world, I can't call him mine...

My alternate universe ripples away and back to reality as my name is being called.

"Brianna?"

Me: Huh? oh um yeah?

I focused my eyes to see who was talking to me and of course... It was Tyler.

Tyler: You ok? You looked zoned out or something?

Brianna: Oh, yeah ha I'm fine...

Tyler: So... Brianna, um I wanted to talk about yesterday...

Shit. I don't wanna cry in front of him.

I can feel a big block of Ice fill my throat. I can't talk. I feel tears rise to my eyes, but I push them down. I managed to get out, "yeah?" with a slight crack in my voice. 

"Well, I just wanted to tell-"

I don't want to hear it.

"OH! yeah, of course, I'll help-"

"No, that's not it. I-"

I don't want to hear it.

"yeah yeah anything you need of course I'll help she is my friend after all"

I can feel myself breaking inside. 

I'm fully just giving him up to her...

"Brianna, can you please just listen to me"

"Oh, ok yeah sorry..."

No please, don't hurt me right to my face, please.

"What I was going to say... was. I lo-"

*Bell rings*

Saved by the bell. 

Teacher: Have a nice snack you guys, see you tomorrow.

We all scurry out the room to get to our next class. I flee from Tyler and get myself lost in the sea of kids and run to my next class...Crying. "Damnit!" I say with another crack in my voice. I wipe the tears out of my eye and run into the bathroom. I run into a stall and collapse onto the floor with my back against the stall wall.

This is my life. It's always been this way... Heartbreak after heartbreak, pain after pain, loss after loss.

The bell for second period rang and class has now started, and I'm here, Crying, broken.

You're pathetic. I know...

I wipe my tears out of my eyes and try to swallow that big block of ice in my throat, and walk out the bathroom stall. My eyes are still puffy and red with pain. I look into the mirror and decide to stay in the bathroom a bit longer. 

I can't go to class looking like this.

I wait for about 10 more minutes till the swelling in my eyes goes down. I start walking to class then I remembered my fear of attention. I try to distract my thoughts from that and walk up to my class. I open the door and walk to my seat, the teacher, being so busy that he didn't even notice I came in. Nobody really paid any attention to me so that was great. I sit in my seat as I noticed someone from across my table, staring at me?

He looks familiar to me as I soon realized that I know him! I believe his name was Conner, he was my only "friend" I had in elementary. We didn't really talk much but he would try and talk to me and he was always staring at me. 

I didn't know he goes here? I didn't even know he was in my class.

I shake my head out of my thoughts as I come back to reality and it looks like he was trying to get my attention. I just ignored it. I tried to listen to the teacher but I just couldn't focus it was a mixture caused by me daydreaming and Conner making me uncomfortable my staring.

I managed to get through the class and we were dismissed. Now... it's snack and I have to see Josie. Great.

I barely walking through the door as I felt someone touch my hand, me being startled by this interaction I jumped, snatched my hand back, and turn around to see who was grabbing at me. It was Conner. "Jesus, you scared me". He was frightened by my reaction and blushed while trying to avoid eye contact. He was always shy... at least, that's what I thought.

Conner: Hey Brianna, um do you remember me? I went to your-

Me: Yeah I do haha it was nice seeing you!

Me, being awkward I don't really like talking to people from my past so I kept it short and ran off. He stayed there. With a look on his face almost if he was hurt.

Maybe I was too harsh on him...

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A/N Is she being harsh? Why doesnt she like talking to people from her past? What did tyler really wanna tell brianna?

-love yall I suck at this lmao