In Dire Need of Cessation

Twenty-Seven

"Is there anything that could aid you?" I said, being a coward. I needed to admit my feelings, I should as there was no time like the present.

I can't do it, I can't do it.

I hadn't ever been so apprehensive before, which probably was due to always knowing the future, having the power to see things in advance and to hear the opinions and plans form in the minds. I was always prepared for anything because I knew what would happen. This time, though, I did not.

I would either be destroyed or made.

Additionally, if she was to reciprocate those feelings I harboured (never in a million years, Edward, stop fooling yourself!) (God, I was acting like a teenage girl maintaining a crush on an adult celebrity! Something that had no hope in ever happening!) but wouldn't agree to continue with this life on Earth, then I would depart with a full and heavy heart, content as I could be in my last moments.

"No, thank you," she whispered, her eyes shut.

Breathing a quiet but sturdy breath, I urged myself to do it- rip it off like a Band-Aid.

"Don't leave me, Bella," I said ever so quietly, eyes on the floor, embarrassed. Come on, Edward, step up and be the man she deserves! I flicked my eyes to her hollowing face, the disease of death slowly winning. Her dark eyes fluttered open, the curtains of eyelashes straining to maintain the view of light as she so desperately wanted to shut them.

"Edward-" she began to protest, believing I was only speaking on the terms as a friend. No, I was now speaking as a lover, an admirer.

"Bella, no, wait." I held my index finger up, telling her I needed to release this from my possession. I wanted to just say 'forget it' at that moment, to cower away as I didn't have the confidence within me that she would return the feelings I had. But I didn't, for the mere reason that her eyes were on me, deep oceans of concern, curiosity, and lastly, sadness.

Blinking once, I continued. "Over the period of time that I have had the pleasure of knowing you, I have fallen in love with you, Bella." Her mouth dropped open, her eyes widened, her body leaned forward toward me, and her figure began to find its color as if someone had refilled her battery. Yet, still, she was taking the path of leaving me. But I carried on.

"You're all I ever think about twenty-four hours of the day, Bella... you are the one person I have been waiting for since the day I heard about the fairy tale of love as a mere child. I have been viable on this damned Earth for so long, and I am positive you can relate, but when I am by your side, able to see you, to hear you, and relish in your company, I no longer feel damned, but blessed. Your departure will kill me, Bella, physically and emotionally kill me..." I shut my eyes with my head dropping to the floor. "I understand that you do not reciprocate this love I bear for you, but I wanted to make you realize that there is another option. Instead of journeying to the afterlife, if you would attempt this idea of being brought back to life that Carlisle is so fixed on trying, I will be here for you every day, loving you the way you deserve."

Vulnerability was never something I showed, I was a man who kept his feelings to himself, and found solace in my music. Alone. But with my heart on the chopping board, practically organizing itself to be severed with rejection, I found myself ready for it. Prepared. I had finally admitted my feelings, opening a door for Bella to walk through when concerning her future. It was up to her now if she desired that route.

With my eyes only able to see the darkness that was unleashed behind my closed eyelids, I could only feel, hear, and smell. That was why, when a frozen, almost liquid gushing feeling, passed through my left cheek and traveled down to my chin, I flicked open my eyes.