2 months later
Dannys pov
i still haddnt heard nor seen tony, the pain still felt new but i found ways to numb it out and things that helped not think about him. i had found a few new friends ones who showed me how to party hard. me and emily were still close but she didnt know i had gotten into drugs, she knew i smoked pot cause we did it together and we had done for years but if she found out what i was doing she would kick me to the kerb. the boys and i didnt really talk much now, i had pretty much dropped out of school and i didnt see them anymore mike and i talked sometimes but it made emotions come back to me.
i walked home in a daze as i had just left a party, when i got home the lights were out as usual and i walked up stairs quietly to my room. i opened the door and flopped down on my bed and let the high hit me. i felt my phone vibratin in my pocket i took it out to see a private number, it use to call most nights but it hadnt for a while, no one ever spoke but it felt calming to me to talk into an empty line but this time i didnt answer it. i was angry, why did it decide to ring now? why not weeks ago when i needed to talk about my feelings why not when i needed someone to listen to me cry huh? i placed my phone down on the bed and got changed into my pjs i could see it light up again but i didnt bother. i ignored it for the next 3 times and on the fourth i picked up "hello?" i giggled feeling wierd "oh thats right you dont ever talk do you" i paused knowing i wouldnt get an answer "well fine you listen up buddy, i havent cried over him in a while now! and im fucking proud, the only thing i found to take my mind off things is drugs, cause your empty phone calls dont help. he obviously dosent care anymore and why should i keep trying to find him. its my birthday next week and im goin to fuckin new york to party and take all the drugs in the world, huh maybe you my muted little friend you could meet me at Bar 169, we can kick it? well homie im out i need food and sleep well i dont sleep but yeah. catch you up" i hung up the phone seeing the photo of me and tony i still had as my front screen and sat there looking at it for a while, i felt a tear escape my eyes as i found myself looking through all of the photos of us on my phone. then it all came back to me the laughs the hugs and the little things he did every day for me and most of all his smile which could bring me out of the darkest moods, his laugh and they way his eyes shone in the sunlight. i found a video that he took of us making funny faces at each other and i felt my heart breaking all over again. i went to the bathroom and began to take the pain away with an old friend of mine, no one was home tammy was always away and emily practically live with jaime now so i had the house to myself, emily had smudge till thursay i didnt know why but smudge seemed to like it there but was always happy to come home. i sat on the cool tiles and i felt the cool feeling of the blade across my skin.
