The Broken

One: Shattered

A/N: every chapter will start with a song that inspired me to write it, or a quote. The passages in italic are flashbacks; there's gonna be a lot of that.
Thankyou for reading. It's gonna be a wild and strange ride.
Enjoy xo
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"We all have our horrors and our demons to fight.
But how can I win, when I'm paralyzed?
They crawl up on my bed, wrap their fingers around my throat.
Is this what I get for the choices that I've made?
God forgive me, for all my sins. God forgive me, for everything."

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He glanced one more time at the shattered mirror on the ground before swallowing his pills. "I can't do this anymore" he barely spoke before passing out on the bed.
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He opened his eyes slowly and scanned the room around him. There was still no trace of another human life. At this point he wasn't even surprised anymore. Waiting and hoping for a change was hopeless.

He tried to remember the last thing he did before sleeping, so he can do it again and save himself more hours of agony. He had slept for just three hours, but that's the longest he had managed to get in the past weeks.

He flipped over to the other side remembering that the pills were the cure, but he found out the stack was empty.

He rubbed his eyes and looked at the small bed table. All he could see was his alarm clock. He didn't even bother to look at the time as it wouldn't make any difference. Whether its 4am or 6pm, it's all the same for him. He was a prisoner of this room. The day and the hour didn't matter anymore. Nothing did.

However, he needed to sleep again so desperately. He needed to stay unconscious for the longest time, afraid of the consequences of his brain deviating for a moment. For one deadly moment.

He tried to gather his strength to search the room for more pills, but his feet failed him. Pain shot through his body as he struggled to stand up. He hadn't been eaten for days, thus he lacked power. He was a living mess. As he tried one more time, the dizziness took over his head, and he sank down to the floor. And everything he was blocking came back to him, as he found himself sobbing hysterically.

He can't go on like this, he wanted to end it. He wanted to stop the pain. But not only temporarily. There it was, his brain deviating. This is it. No one will save him now.

He stared at the broken glass on the floor, a specific one in sight. He started crawling in its direction, bruising his elbows because of the small pieces shattered on the way, but he didn't care. When he approached it, he lifted himself up and sat straight, taking it in his hand. He stared at his reflection in it, and saw a face he couldn't recognize anymore; the face of a quitter. He fixed the pointed side for what felt like ages, reviewing all the memories of the past weeks. He couldn't remember anything that happened before. He couldn't get a glance on how his life was. The only memories left were when it all hit a dark turn.

"Everything ends here," he whispered. "It should've ended earlier." It was too late for his brain to revive himself.

He started approaching the piece of glass to his left wrist, blocking every voice in his head that was screaming at him to wake up. He took a deep breath as he felt it sting his sensitive skin. He closed his eyes and started digging it in slowly as few drops of blood came out.

"Stop! Please, Jason don't!" a voice screamed.

"This can't be real, there's no one here. Get the fuck out of my head!" He screamed back as he dug the sharp side deeper.

"Jay, please just look at me I'm begging you, Jason open your eyes".

Wait. He knew that voice very well. Could he be imagining it? "Leave me alone!" He screamed again as more blood came out.

"Focus on my voice, i'm here, i'm here! Jason i beg you. Wake up!"

He opened his eyes slowly, his bleeding wrist the first thing in sight. Then lifting his head, he looked up at the silhouette kneeling on the floor in front of him.

"Pa-Pamela?" He barely let out as his vision got blurry and the dark engulfed him.