The Broken

Ten: No turning back

"Nothing more to say
Nothing left to break
I keep reaching out for you
Hoping you might stay

Nothing more to give
Nothing left to take
I keep reaching out for you
As you turn away"

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"Are you sure you want to go alone today? You know I don't mind accompanying you." Matt said while finishing a couple of papers for the office.

It's been months that he's been Jason's shadow, so all the work got racked up waiting for him to come back. And since he can't trust leaving his friend alone, he managed to finish what's necessary from home.

"Yes, I'm okay Matt, I promise. Besides, you heard the psychologist, I can be left alone just fine." He said, grabbing his phone and wallet from the counter, preparing himself to go to his appointment.

"I just... I just don't think it's a good idea. Let me at least drop you off. I'm not doing anything." Matt rubbed his neck nervously.

He was torn between two fires. He didn't want Jason to go alone, still not over Michael's visit. But on the other side, he didn't want to pressure him, especially considering the surprising progress he had made, which Matt still couldn't wrap his head around. Did he really move on?

"You're working man. I really appreciate what you've done to me for the past months, but trust me it's really okay now." Jay shuffled on his feet, annoyed from his friend's insistence.

"My work can wait. I'm coming with you." He stood up.

"I won't do it again!" Jason snapped, eyes fixing the blond man.

"I know this is what's terrifying you. And I assure you I won't do it again. I won't relapse, and i won't try to hurt myself again." He gained back his calm and proceeded. "In the so little sense left in me, I figured that the only way out, is through. And I've been going through it for a period now." He ran his fingers through his hair, and continued, wanting to let it all out.

"Her, coming to me and being so close, like seeing, through the fog, the star that I always wished upon, and counted on to light the sky, provided me this warmth for few moments, but then just like that, she took it all away from me. And I was wrong. She wasn't my star, she was my storm. I thought she was so close to coming home in that moment, but truth is, she was never as out of reach as then. And... And she left me in the end. She destroyed me again, knowing how desperate I am and how every cell in my body was aching for her, and only her." The tears were now threatening to fall from his eyes but he refused to let them. It was the right time to flip the switch.

He closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed hard before finishing his train of thoughts and blocking all the parts of her, in him.

"And to just think that she's with him now, doesn't make sense to me. It's been two weeks that i'm trying to think about what he said, but I still don't understand. I mean you saw him walking out to his car that day, and you confirmed he was at her place when you wanted to find her."

"Look man, this whole thing is odd. Why would Pamela be with him if it wasn't for you." Matt paused, staring at Jason's blank look. "Please don't tell me you think she had something to do with it all."

"She was the one who found me at the bar and approached me. Michael must have known her. He knew everyone there."

His thoughts were going in all directions, bumping into one another, creating different scenarios that all involved betrayal. Like it was easier for him to believe the worst.