Solace

chapter 4- Cold

The heart can get really cold if all you've known is winter - Benjamin Alire Sáenz

"Sof why are you shivering? Are you cold hon? I can make you some coffee?" , Mom asked. She was standing in the doorway, looking very disheveled. Her legs were wet and she was shivering herself.

"Oh, god mom what have you done?" I pushed my hair back from my face and wiped away all the tears.

"Come I'll get you all cleaned hon."

I took her to the bathroom and turned on the warm water. The tub was half full when I got her out of her clothes and helped her into the tub. She smiled and closed her eyes.

I went into her bedroom and changed the sheets. Threw the old one in the washing machine.

"Sofia?" She called. I ran back to the bathroom and helped her shampoo her hair. She slapped my hand away and started massaging her hair herself. I laughed "we're doing it ourself now, are we?" She didn't reply and started humming an old tune. After a few minutes, I washed her and got her into clean clothes and dried her hair. I didn't notice it until she sniffled loudly, she was crying silently. Tears falling down her face. I knelt down in front of her

"Whats wrong mommy?"

"Why doesn't he come back? why did he leave? I didn't -" her voice cracked. She started sobbing loudly. She was talking about my father. She never cried loudly in these past years, why now?

I saw her wake up at night abruptly, probably because of nightmares. I saw her cry silently herself to sleep. She had mild mood swings, she didn't let a nurse take care of her but she was a very calm person. It was all okay. But now she was crying and asking all about him, I thought she'd have forgotten him but she didn't.

I tried to calm her down but she only cried louder and louder until she started screaming. I didn't know what to do so I called doctor Abrahim, her doctor, my dad's old friend and the only person who I considered as my family. I told him about my mom's sudden change of behavior and he could hear her screams through the phone, so he said he'll come over in 15 minutes.

It was hellish. Those 15 minutes.

Finally, the bell rang but it wasn't doctor Abrahim. It was Aerrin.

"Aerrin? What are you doing here?"

"I came by to say hi and give you- oh my god Sofia what's wrong, who's screaming?" He pushed me to side and walked towards the voice. I grabbed his arm "Don't go in there Aerrin. It's my mom." He looked at me, his eyes wide. He was silent, he was searching for right words.

"She lives with you? Why Sofia? Why isn't she at the hospital, we have to take her to the hospital!"

I couldn't hold back tears anymore. He knew my mom and everything that happened.

"I've called dr. Abrahim, he'll be here any minute" Abrahim was his uncle (his dad's brother ). And as if on cue, dr. Abrahim arrived along with a nurse and an elderly woman I didn't know.

I lead them to my mother. She was throwing stuff in her room. Everything was a complete mess. The nurse went in. He slowly approached her but when my mom saw him, she started throwing heavy stuff in his direction. He dodged a hairbrush which struck the dressing table mirror and it shattered loudly. Everyone gasped. Aerrin pulled me back closer to him. She put her hands on her ear and started screaming. I never saw her like this. Never. It was horrible.

"She was so calm all these years, I don't know what triggered her" I whispered to Aerrin. He was standing behind me, my back against his chest. He wrapped his hand around me. And rested his chin on my head. "you have to tell me everything." He said, he sounded a bit angry.

The nurse grabbed my mom's arms and pinned her against the wall, which was absolutely terrifying to watch. And when I was about to protest, he pulled out a small syringe from his pocket, removed its cap with his teeth and injected its contents into my mom's arm. After a minute she stopped protesting and became lifeless. The nurse lifted her and laid her on the bed. Abrahim went in and did some checks on her and turned towards us.
He didn't notice Aerrin before, but when he did he was a little surprised. Aerrin quickly unwrapped his arms around me and went to hug his uncle.

"How is she uncle?" He asked

"I'm afraid she has to be taken to the hospital immediately. I was hoping nothing like this would happen, she was doing so well."

"For how much time is she..." my voice faltered.

"My dear child I don't think it's safe to keep her at home anymore. We'll have to keep her under surveillance now. She is having flashbacks and we don't know what's triggering it. I'll talk to my friend about her case, he is a psychiatrist. Don't worry now and get some sleep."

I nodded but my mind was on fire. The nurse got her in the ambulance and took her to the hospital. Between all the havoc I didn't notice the elderly woman who was now standing beside Abrahim.

"This is Amber. She is a caretaker. She'll stay with you. She'll take care of your house and you. Please don't be angry at me your father asked me to-"

"You called my father?" My annoyance turned quickly into anger. I glanced at Aerrin. His face was devoid of any expression.

"Who was I to call if, god forbid, something bad would've happened? Child, I did it just for you. You've been through so much and you're now in a medical college and trust me that shit is hard. You need help or else you'll explode." He put his hand on my shoulder.

He has been a father figure to me after my dad left me. He helped me with the school and then with the college. He took care of me and my sick mom. He took me to his own house and treated me like his own child. Zarin and I were like sisters until she flew away to Canada with her mom after his divorce. I went back to my own house and got Abrahim to move my mom out of the hospital to my house. He is a very senior surgeon. He has many hospitals working under his authority and administration. It wasn't hard for him. He was kind but a very influential man.

But he shouldn't have called my father. What did he care? He was the one who left her.

"You shouldn't have called him. You help me every time, not him. After all he's the one who did this to her." I said angrily.

He looked away. "Sofia I have to go now. I have a surgery early in the morning. And yeah I'll call you tomorrow after I get your mom all checked okay. Take care child and let her do her stuff" he looked at Amber, who had already begin to clean the room. I nodded. Abrahim left after a quick nod at Aerrin and pat on my head.

I gave Amber all the instructions and a guest room. All the while Aerrin patiently waited in the kitchen. I heard him talk on the phone a few times.

"Hey." My voice came off very weak. He looked at me and then he hugged me. "Everything's gonna be okay Fia"

I let the dam break and cried until I couldn't feel anything.

______________

"Are you hungry? I've ordered pizza" he said after I stopped. It was almost 11.30 pm and I was hungry.

So we ate pizza together and I told him how Abrahim had helped me by getting my mother out of the hospital. And how she was very well behaved until now. And he showed me what he brought earlier. It was a nice leather jacket.