My darkness

Waiting For a Life Line

I was sitting there
Right in front of you
Hoping that you would reach out
I was gasping for air
Waiting for you to pull me out
I kicked and scream as a drowned
This darkness filled my lungs
I cried out for you
Hoping that you would notice
But you were blind
I don't blame you
But after the tenth "I'm just tired"
You should of noticed
Should of pulled me out
I wanted to be rescued
What did you want me to say
"Hey dad I'm dying inside"
You would of just brushed it off
Because "black people don't get depressed"
But this darkness that flooded my body
Wasn't just a "White thing"
I wanted you to understand
But I was afraid of being told
"You're being to sensitive"
I got my self worth torn apart every single day
As I sat in the car with you
Hoping my quietness would be a sign
A sign that my mind is wandering off
Making me drown deeper and deeper into this darkness
That has enclosed around me
I hoped everyday to get a life line
One day I gave up
I accepted that I won't be saved