fuck me through the phone ; ryden

5:13 am

oh shit 2 updates a day lmao

-

"ryan, tell me what's going on?" brendon asked petting his hair, concern coursing through his veins. ryan sobbed harder, he shook against brendon holding onto him. "fuck! i'm sorry!" ryan repeated for the third time. "i can't anymore! brendon i can't!" he sobbed.

brendon held onto ryan like he would slip away if he didn't hold him tight. "i can't take it anymore brendon, it's too much." he whispered into his boyfriends neck, "what're you talking about, babe?" brendon knew what he meant and he was afraid of the outcome. the tears wouldn't stop flowing from ryan's eyes, and brendon wished nothing more than to take away all the hurt that ryan was feeling, he would take all the pain that he was feeling just so ryan could feel okay.

"every day there's a fucking rumours about us, b! i heard that we fucked on the roof of the school at night! i'm the school whore brendon! i can't take it."
brendon was on the verge of tears himself, he knew what was coming and he wish he could pause time so he wouldn't have to endure this.

"ry, please-" brendon whispered as he saw ryan reach for the door. opening it he stepped out in front of the car, pacing back and forth taking in the cool air. brendon quickly got out too, not even bothering to close the door.

"ryan i-" ryan felt like he wanted to scream. "brendon i can't do this anymore-" "ryan, please."
"i can't do us anymore." the words hit him like a ton of bricks, heart beating so hard he thought his ribs were breaking. his lungs fluttered and his stomach was tied in knots. now brendon was in tears, sobs wanting to escape him but he held them. "ryan please don't do this, we can get through it..." brendon cried trying to hold ryan but he pushed away. "i don't know what to do." ryan admitted quietly, holding himself, his arms wrapped around his torso trying to stop his shaking. "just give it time- it'll pass-" "it's been three weeks and it's only gotten worse, brendon! i'm not going to go mad if i have to go through this any longer."

breathless, brendon was breathless because even though his heart was breaking right in front of him, ryan still looked beautiful. "ryan..." brendon was trying so hard, he wanted ryan so badly, he wanted nothing more than to hold him in his arms at night and tell him it's okay but that wasn't going to happen.

"take me home, please." brendon moved closer to him, he wanted him close, "brendon," ryan didn't move just watched him move closer because this isn't what he wanted. he wanted to kiss brendon in the early morning when they woke up after brendon stayed over. ryan wanted to be with brendon, but he couldn't. he couldn't take it.

"ryan please." brendon choked out as he kissed ryan passionately. time for the both of them slowing down, ryan moved his hands to hold brendon's shirt by his waist as brendon held ryan's jaw in his hands. brendon pulled away slowly leaning his forehead against ryan's, tears still falling from his eyes as he whispered so carefully as if ryan would break apart if he spoke too loud.
"i love you"

ryan's chest tightened, the words he wanted to say weren't coming out, his mind releasing the only words that he could string together. "take me home, brendon." he whispered back, pulling away and moving into the car.

brendon stood there, defeated, there was nothing else he could do, he tried. he tried so hard. slamming his fists against the hood of his car, then leaning his head in his hands. ryan watched him feeling empty and guilty, he made brendon feel like that.

silent tears poured from both bodies, the two of them were so close but they've never felt farther apart.