* Lost Boys ~ Dan/Howell • Phil/Lester *

Traitor

Light poured in the windows. The room filled with a crimson hue. Dan's eyes fluttered open with fog. He looked over to see his companion in a bed. Phil looked so at peace there. His eyelashes covering the bags under his eyes like grass covering burrows of woodland creatures that created little humps in the ground. His black fringe sweeping across his forehead like a an artist took thick black paint and swept it across his head. He clenched a pillow for dear life, retreating behind the cozy homemade blanket. His eyes twitched like the wings of flightless butterflies. He looked as peaceful as an ancient sleeping elephant. Dans ID took control and he realised he was hungry. He slowly rose from the leather armchair and slothfully shuffled into the dining room.
Pj came out of the kitchen wearing an apron and carrying large trays. He started cleaning dirty plates off the table. He looked quite busy so Dan decided he would just find something to eat elsewhere, that would be out of the way. But where? His immediate impulse was to steal from a convenient store. He then realised that he hadn't supported himself in a while which bothered him thoroughly. He had always been independent. Then he met Phil and suddenly without the raven haired boy he felt incomplete. What had happened to him? Maybe he needed to toughen up? Maybe he just needed to stop hanging around so many people in general. He could feel himself getting soft. This concerned Dan because he had built up a barrier. He had a fortress in his mind. He had a safe haven to hide behind. He had no choice but to build walls, for if he didn't his mother could attack him with verbal knives and bullets in the form of bottles. He didn't know how, but Phil had gotten through those steel gates. Had he been weak? Maybe he just needed time to think. He needed to get away. Then Dan devised a plan. He would go on a journey to the nearest convenient store. He was sure he could handle himself. He went up to his corner upstairs. He was supposed to be sleeping there but something just felt wrong up there. He didn't feel comfortable sleeping in a room with strangers, but Phil was the only exception he had ever made.  Phil was his one weak spot. He needed a break. He was getting too close. So he sat in his corner and thought. He thought until he gave up, grabbed his ruck sack, scribbled a note onto a piece of scrap paper and left it on the dining table. He briskly walked out the front door. He went down the front stairs and didn't look back.
This will be good for me
He told himself time and time again and his pace picked up. No matter how much he lied to himself it still hurt to leave like that. He walked in the opposite direction he had arrived. Wading through the field of sun bleached yellow grass.
Was he taking a break or just running again
Would this really be good for him?
Would he really thrive?
Would this hiatus actually help their relationship?
He approached the tree line
would it damage the relationship?
Oh god
What if it made Phil upset?
As the forestation grew thicker, so did the lump in his throat
His worry grew
He had only been gone minutes but what would Phil do when he read the note?
Would he be upset?
Did he even care?
Would he just shrug and replace Dan in a heartbeat?
Dan knew he would
Why would anyone care about him
Why wouldn't Phil replace him?
There were so many better options
So many boys more worthy of Phil's companionship
His amazing friendship to offer
His hand to hold
His eyes to look into
Him
The feeling of home
The serenity in those teal pools
The safeness of his being
Dan trusted the boy
The first time he had trusted in so long
He couldn't imagine life without Phil
Phil was dans crutch
His safety blanket
His security stuffy
His caring companion
But did Phil even care about him?
The question rang in his mind as he kept traveling
The more his breath raged the faster his legs went

Suddenly he heard a thud behind him
He turned around and he felt a pang of adrenaline burst from his heart
A hooded figure
"Do not be afraid. I am not here to harm you."
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME"
Dan screamed jumping away from the thing and whirling to grab a makeshift weapon of a branch
He turned back around and stopped dead in his tracks. The person was close. Very close. Dan could feel breath on his nose which felt like clay at this point. He could see the persons face. Male. Tanned. Scarred. Empty. Dead eyes. He couldn't will himself to move. The large boy grabbed the stick and threw it an alarmingly far distance, not breaking eye contact with the smaller boy.
"We want you to join us"
"No. And who is 'us'"
"Yes. and mortem Domum"