My Best Man || 2jae

[05]

Jaebum:

Jackson took another sip of his beer before he looked back at me. "What's so bad about it? It's better to find out that you're into him before you get married." The younger explained, making me roll my eyes.

When I had arrived at home, I had spontaneously decided to visit my neighbor Jackson who was also a very close friend of mine. I had told him about my kiss with Youngjae because he was the person I trusted to most after my best friend.

And now we were sitting in his living room, drinking beer and I tried my best to convince him that I definitely wasn't into Youngjae. "I'm not gay, Jackson." I told him for the hundredth time in the last hour. But he still didn't seem to believe me.

"You are. Well, you might be. You shouldn't ignore the fact that you kissed him and especially that you liked it, my friend." His hand ran through his platinum blonde hair and he put his empty bottle on the table.

I sighed and leaned back into his black couch. Jackson and I had been friends for some years now and I knew he would talk about this the whole night and I would never be able to convince him that I wasn't gay.

He had a lot of points and his theory was extremely senseful but I couldn't be into Youngjae or men in general. And that was it. "It doesn't matter what was with the kiss. We both will forget it." I said and looked at the ceiling.

I heard Jackson taking a deep breath and I knew he was about to slap me. Well, not literally of course. "Jaebum, I know you want to be a normal man and live a normal life with your wife, but bro, that's not how it is." He started.

"You're best friend kissed you, you kissed back, you made out and we both know you enjoyed it. Either you are into men or you have feelings for Youngjae. No matter what it is, you can't forget it." He continued and looked deep into my eyes.

He was right. Every word he said was true. There had been something. But I just couldn't think about Youngjae. I had Mina, she was my future wife, I couldn't leave her, I didn't want to leave her.

God, what should I do? "Talk to him, Jaebum." The younger said and I nodded. No matter how much I hated to admit it, Jackson was right. I had to talk to Youngjae, even if it would change our friendship.

"Do you think I should do it today?" I asked him. The man seemed to think for some moments. He probably didn't know if it would be better if we would talk today or in some days. I didn't know either.

"Maybe you should better go to bed for today. You're completely confused. Sleep and talk to him tomorrow. That'll be better." Jackson put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it softly. I nodded.

"Thanks for listening, Jacks." I gave him a little smile and got up. He did the same and walked to the door with me. "Anytime." He smiled and opened the door. I left the house but turned around again.

"Mina needs the car tomorrow. Could you give me a ride?" It didn't even take him a moment to answer. "Sure." He grinned and closed the door and walked over to my own house. I couldn't see any light through the windows which meant Mina was not at home.

I opened the door and put my shoes and jacket away. It was silent and dark and I decided to go to bed before Mina would come home and start asking questions about my day. I didn't feel like answering her.

My steps took me to my bedroom where I quickly undressed myself and jumped onto the the bed. I buried my face in my pillow and closed my eyes for a moment. I was tired but I knew I couldn't sleep.

So many questions ran through my head and I couldn't answer any of them. Would Youngjae want to talk about it? What would he say? Did he feel something? Did he like it as I did? Did he like me?

My thoughts were twirling around and I didn't even know what I hoped for. I was completely confused and I hated it when I couldn't answer something. I actually hated nothing more than that.

A frustrated scream left my mouth and luckily the pillow lowered the volume a bit. Why did my life have to be so complicated? I just wanted to have a normal life with my wife and a good job. Nothing more.

But I knew I wouldn't have this kind of life. Although I tried to deny it the whole time, my subconsciousness already knew that I wouldn't marry Mina and that there was a small possibility that I could like Youngjae.

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Thank you for reading ♡