You know what you did

Chapter 21: Oh no you didn't

Before I start the chapter, I want to thank each and every one of you who got me to 14k reads! I feel so happy knowing people enjoy my cringes writing. I've created a cover, but I'm not sure if I should switch or not. No one contacted me about the cover, so I created one. Tell me what you think, if the majority like it more than this one, I'll switch it. If not, the current one will stay.
Enjoy the chapter!

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Wade's P.O.V.

As the last of the bodies fell to the floor, I only have one thought on my mind: Alex.
The second her body fell limp, I took care of the the trash that littered the room.

Now isn't the time for puns.
Now isn't the time to interrupt me either.
Look who's talking.

I drop my empty gun on the floor as I numbly walk towards Alex's body. The first thing I notice, is the lack of breathing. I bend down to examine the damage; Broken ribs. I heard the crunch from across the room, I can only imagine what she went through.
CPR won't work, it'll probably just make the damage to her corpse that much worse. With her lungs presumably punctured, there's nothing I can do.

Damn the whole world.
Damn the human race.
Damn people who don't have healing factors.
Damn the fact Alex was one of those people.

I kneel down as calm as my body will allow, and pick up Alex's body with as much care as I can. My mind is currently screaming at me, telling me this is all my fault. Honestly, I agree. I could have done something, I should have known that dickhead wasn't dead. Now as a result of my lack of skills, the only girl I'll ever truly care about is dead.

You did this Wade.
I know.
Why are you so stupid.
I don't know.
I wish you could die.
I wish that too.

~*~

I wasn't sure where to go, so I went back to where we were. Before everything went in the worst direction possible. Before I lost the only thing I gained.
I lay her broken body on top of the table we kissed. The place I realized nothing else would matter. But of course, life just likes to screw me over in any way it can. Every. Single. Day.

The only thing I can think about, no matter how much I try, is letting myself fall into darkness. To just give in to my mind, and end it. Even if I end up coming back, the lack of pain would be nice.

I take my mask off and throw it across the room, knocking over a small lamp in the corner. The sound of the bulb breaking against the floor makes me lose control. So I let it out; I scream till I can't scream anymore. I'll let my lungs give out like hers did, even if it won't kill me. I'll make myself feel better over the guilt, by causing more pain than I already have. Although despite my constant self hatred, as I roam the building and screaming, the pain in my chest only deepens.

10 minutes go by, I'm sitting in the corner of a room on the opposite end of the building, with my arms wrapped around my head. Each thought of her running through my mind, causing my chest to hurt even more. I'm angry, yet the tears flooding my eyes seem to tell me otherwise. If I was angry, I would be doing something. Anything.
I wouldn't be wallowing in self pity after the fact that I'd lost a girl I cared too damn much about.

Cared. Past tense.
Why is past tense the saddest thing when someone dies.
Past tense means memories, it means those memories ended.
Why did they have to end?
Because life sucks.
Thanks for cheering me up, as always.

I sit up, stretching my legs out and leaning my head against the wall. I thump my head against the wall, again, again, and again. Not hard, just enough to make me want to lose my mind. (Despite the fact that I already have.)
I close my eyes, thinking things over. Playing the scene over and over in my mind.

Before I know it I find myself back in the first room, the room with her in it. Her eyes are closed, yet not exactly like she's sleeping. But it still looks like she could sit up at any moment.
How did I end up back in this God forsaken room?

What about those yuppie X-Men that pester you?
What about them?
There's like, dozens of them.
Again, so?
Maybe they could bring her back?
They wouldn't. As much as I would do anything.
Do it then.
What?
Anything, do anything to bring Alex back.

The thoughts begin to cluster in my mind, whirling with a newfound hope as the pain in my chest slightly fades. In the next moment, I've already gotten on the bike and heading off. Riding on a motorcycle with a dead body is a lot harder than it sounds.

~*~

"No."
"Why not!?" I slam my fist against a table, seething with emotions as professor X, aka douche bag extreme, shuts down my one and only plan to bring Alex back.
"Because that's tampering with natural laws, Wade." He states in a matter of fact tone, shaking his head at me.
"I'm at least 90% sure you guys have done it before." I look him dead in the eye, looking for any sign of truth to my words.
"Even so, she's a murderer, and a thief," he glances at Alex's body on the examination table, "we've been trying to catch her for a year, as much as you cared about her, there's nothing to be done." I once again slam my fists against the table.
"Please," I beg, "I'll do anything. I'll stop being Deadpool if that's what you want, I be good." I sound crazy even to myself at this point. A new level of hysterics has been reached by myself.
"I wouldn't believe that for a second, and either way there's no way to safely bring her back without jeopardizing any part of the space time continuum, and creating a paradox."
"A little paradox never hurt anybody!" I argue, attempting my best puppy dog eyes through the mask.
"A little paradox, would destroy anything and everything in existence," the professor takes one last look at Alex before shaking his head, " I'm sorry Wade, but there's nothing I can do."

The professor leaves me alone in the room afterwards, although theirs no doubt people waiting for me outside the room to make sure I don't do anything before I leave. There's something in the back of my mind that's itching to tell me something, but nothing seems to be surfacing.

"Wade, it's time for you to go," Colossus enters the room, gesturing for me to leave. I sigh in defeat, gathering Alex's body to leave. Colossus seems surprised with my compliance to listen to orders as I exit, but he doesn't say a word as I make my way out of the building.

Despite the professors words, I think there's something that can be done.
I get on the motorcycle, placing myself with the corpse properly, and turning on the vehicle.

There's got to be something I can do.
I'm sure there's something.
I'll find something.
I'll find a way to bring her back.
We're bringing Alex back, any means necessary.

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