Demon // [Harry Styles AU]

12 // Diary

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'Dear Diary,

I've been thinking a lot lately. About myself, and what I am. What I was and what I've become. About Bo, and how I didn't even realize how much I actually missed her. Every single thing about her.

Then I started thinking about Haven, about my true feelings for her. I know what the plan is, what I'm supposed to do.

It had always been hard, first Bo. The love of my life, my soul mate. My other halve. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life, and the consequences didn't help to heal the pain. I hadn't forgiven myself when year two came around. Girl number two. She was beautiful, but nothing close to Bo. But I admit I was attracted to her.

So that's how my routine started. I got into her mind, made her fear me, made her lose her mind. And then we met, I acted all innocent. She got so confused. She was scared of me, but she didn't have a reason too. Because I was the nicest young man her, and her family had ever met. It's a messed up plan, and it doesn't make sense at all. But it worked. In the end she was a puddle in my hands, and it was all very easy from then. I hated doing it, I always have. Every second I spend thinking of the innocent girl I remembered how Bo suffered from the same. I might not have used that routine on her, but every little thing I did, reminded me of her.

Year three followed, the last one. When I saw Haven, I was sold. She was absolutely stunning, almost glowing so pure. She was so different than I am used too, so nervous while pushing through the endless groups of sweaty teens. So innocent, so lovely. Just like Bo when I first met her.

I might have been an angel, but I was always a bit of a cheeky one. Louis did that, he changed me. In a good way. I was a shy little shit at first, but he corrupted me quite a bit. And I did that with Bo. I loved to see her develop. Her cheeky, sexy side come out.

Mom? I think I fell in love with her. It doesn't feel like Bo, but I don't know if I will ever feel as much for someone as I feel for Bo. My heart aches when I think about her, but then there's Haven. Who's this amazing, gentle, caring, smart, strong girl. She's so strong. It was unbelievably hard to get into her head, but I somehow loved the challenge. I think she has secrets, lots of them. I bet her story is so interesting.

I could get into her mind and find out, but I don't really want too. I want her to tell me, I want to find out when she's ready to tell me.

I haven't heard from you in a while mom. Why aren't you here? I need some motherly advise, I need you to tell me what to do. Tell me it's okay, that what I'm doing isn't bad. I know it is, but I don't want to do it. I don't have a choice. You know that right? Have you seen Haven's mom? Do you know what happened with her dad?

I have so many questions, but I'm so ready to find out all the answers.'

Love, Harry.

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Haven

'Dear Diary,

I listened to the music box again today. The first time since Harry barged into my room and played it. I know it didn't actually go like that, but it felt like it. That music box is one of the few things I have left from her, and listening to it is extremely hard for me. I'm an avoider. If things hurt me, I don't come near them. But honestly, when Harry played it, I didn't mind. Maybe I was just ready to listen to it again, or maybe it was because he was there with me.