Demolition Lovers ✔

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I swear I am freezing as we speak. Also pretty sad about how I have to wait ages for S5 to air in my country 😭 and at the same time see all the spoilers and teasers on my Instagram page. 💔

Who's your favorite character? Comment 😊

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Bea's body shook in violent tremors, trembling hands clasping weakly at the bloodied blade that rested between her fingertips. She threw it across the room and put her head inbetween her hands, watching as drops of salty tasting water dripped down from her face, mingling with the dark red trails on her thighs. She stared at the substance, wondering at how so much damage could be caused by such little a thing. One of her shaky hands edged its way toward one of the wounds, wiping off dried blood and tracing the thin silvery and red puckered scars, old and new. Another tear escaped her eyes and fell onto her hand, almost as if waking her from a dream. She wiped her eyes and pulled her pants up, sliding back up the wall and washing her hands at the sink, watching as the red now ran down in spirals. She looked in the mirror at herself and gasped, turning around instantly to look at the sad face of the girl sitting on her bed.

"A-A-Alex. I didn't s-see you t-there..."

She said nothing, instead extending her arms out to the red head. Bea choked back a sob and walked toward her, walls going back up. She sat next to Alex and was engulfed in a hug. Bea felt a teency bit better, feeling the warmth and comfort of a friend by her side. And that's what she needed at the moment. A friend.

She caught her breath and replied in a monotonous voice. "How much of that did you see?"

Alex's green eyes pierced her own, seeing right through her. "Enough to know that your not dealing Bea. I'm not judging you. And I'm not saying I can stop you, even though I'd love to. What I'm saying is I may not understand your pain, but I understand what your going through. I just want you to know that the girls and I are here for you Bea, anytime you need us. I hope you know that."

Bea swallowed, nodding as her hair crowded around her lowered head like a curtain. Alex grabbed her hand and squeezed. "Please let me help you Bea. Your in so much pain. " Bea pulled her hand back. "No one can help. You don't understand- how would you understand? You didn't nearly fucking die. You don't do this disgusting thing to your body. You don't get it." She snapped.

Alex leveled her gaze to Be as and made to get up but didn't, instead pulling her top up slightly and her waistband of her pants down over her hips. "You think I don't understand? Look. Look there. Huh? All those scars. I'm just like you. And let's not forget I was almost killed by the exact same bitch. If anyone understands, its me. Just talk to me Bea. I can't lose you!" Bea watched on as Alex showed her the faded perfectly straight slashes on her hips and stomach, old tales of self harm and personal destruction. Guilt ran through her veins as Alex pulled her clothes back on and looked at back at Bea expectedly. She was only trying to help. Bea bit her lip and fiddled with her hands, wondering where to start. "Its- its stupid really. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think, well, how do I say this. In that moment when Ferguson had me, I knew she was going to kill me. Sure I fought, but there was a point where I was so close to death itself that I thought, that well maybe death wouldn't be so bad. I have no family. I'm never getting out of here. No future, nothing to look forward to. If I died I'd get to see deb again. But then I remembered that I suffered so much at the hands of the freak. And I wouldn't die by those hands. Lately, I've been so depressed. So addicted to self destruction that I'm using it like a drug I can't get enough of, and I'm becoming something I vowed to keep away from. I'm just sad that im not dead. I don't know. That probably sounds really dark and all but I'm just sick of life ya know? God you probably think I'm mad," She shook her head and rubbed her temples.