I'm Mayara Michele Lovato. Yeah, that Lovato - Demi's my sister. Everyone knows her name, but me? At home, I'm just the nobody in the corner. School sucks. Life sucks. Everything feels broken. The question is: how long can I keep it together... and...
"May and Maddie! Get ready in 20 minutes. You have to go to school!" I hear my mother scream from downstairs. I really don't want to go to school! I hate school! Today is the first day back after the holidays. I have only one friend, and her name is Liliana, but I call her Lily.
After 5 minutes, I finally get out of bed. I walk into my big closet and pick out some clothes. It is August, so it's pretty hot outside.
(Mayara's clothes)
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I know, weird. Why would a girl in summer pull on a long-sleeve shirt? I have the perfect answer for you: I'm a messed-up girl, and nobody can know my secrets.
I walk into my bathroom and put on some make-up. I tie my hair into a ponytail and look at myself in the mirror. Still ugly... With that thought, I walk downstairs.
"Hi sweetheart! Here's some breakfast. Maddie is already on her way to school," my mom says. I look at the food she's made for me. It's a sandwich. Doesn't she see how fat I am? I'm so not gonna eat that!
"I'll eat it on my way to school. Bye, Mom." I give her a kiss on her forehead and pick up the sandwich.
Now I'm standing in front of a huge building. "Well, let's go..." I mumble to myself. I take a deep breath and throw my sandwich in the trash can. I walk into the school and head straight to my locker.
"May!" I hear a very happy voice behind me. I turn around and see a girl with a huge smile on her face.
"OMG! Lily! I've missed you so much! How are you?" Lily has been my best friend forever. "I missed you too, and I'm fine. How are you?" Lily asks with a little concern in her voice. Lily knows everything about me. She knows about my eating problems, my cutting, and how I really feel.
"Don't worry, I'm totally okay!" I lie with a fake smile. She seems to believe me.
We walk into the classroom, and everybody stares at us. We quickly go to our seats in the back. My sister Madison sits in front of us with her friend Logan Binstock. And in the front row sits the worst person in my life: the stupid and always-perfect Kayla and her minions. I mean, they're pretty, all the teachers like them, everybody's friends with them. And then there's me: not pretty, nobody likes me, and I only have one friend. I'm sorry for being so damn moody.
"I'm sorry we didn't walk together," Madison says.
"No, it's fine." I give her a smile.
"Did you know Demi comes home today?" Maddie asks me.
Wait—did I hear that right? Noooo! Omg! I don't hate her, but every time she's here, all the attention goes straight to Maddie. Like, hello?!
"Can the Lovato sisters explain to me what's more important than this lesson?!" our teacher, Ms. Jones, asks, a little angry.
"Sorry," Maddie and I say in unison.
Later that day at lunch, Lily and I search for a place to sit. Normally, we claim the same table every day, but for some reason, Kayla has planted herself nearby. Lily and I exchange a quick glance, and I let out a quiet sigh.
Finally, we settle down. "How are you, May? I haven't seen you in, what, forever?" Lily exclaims. I almost choke on my food. I have to eat something, or I'll literally collapse—and I don't want anyone worrying about me.
"Yeah... good, good. Summer break was amazing. How was yours?" I force the words out, almost convincing myself. Lily gushes about every single thing she did, smiling and laughing as I nod along, pretending to care. But all I can think about is how to get this sandwich down—or better yet, how to get it out of me. The panic bubbles up, and I'm sure Lily can see it in my eyes.
"Hey... you okay?" she asks, her voice laced with concern. I force a nod. "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me," I say, plastering on my best smile.
"I'm watching you, Lovato," she warns playfully, then goes back to recounting her summer adventures.
I take a deep, shaky breath and remind myself... One sandwich won't make you gain weight. Just one sandwich.
School is finally out, and Kayla and her minions didn't bully me today, so it was a good day. Well, almost. Because now I have to go home and see the famous Demetria Devonne Lovato. Ugh...
Maddie and I walk home in complete silence. When we open the door to our house, there she is...
