Last Night

Her Life

On a cold winter day, a pregnant woman made a fright. 
She was finally in labor with the love of her life.
Her husband stayed by the woman's side all through the night.
He never left, he couldn't that night.
His love was in pain, their love held them tight.
Late in the night, a baby was born.
The mother gave up,
Her baby was taken to be dressed up,
They tended to her and she was in luck.
Her mother had a run-in with death that night.
Her husband cried for the first time in all his life.
He couldn't imagine a life without his baby girl or without his wife.
She happily made it out and she was alright.
He stayed true to his heart,
for a little while at least.
But once a player, always a player.
He left them to cheat.
He left his baby girl and his love that day.
He lost his whole world, he threw it all away.
The little girl grew up and her mother showed her love.
She was never told about her father, she never asked at all.
She grew up happy, then her father came back.
He was addicted to drugs and needed money fast.
Her mother told him off and didn't give him chance.
He left the house that day knowing his tricks didn't work,
He didn't care about his girls he just needed more money.
Her mother cried a lot and knew she hadn't moved on.
But she told him off and she was getting pretty strong.
She told her little girl about her dad,
She was too young to understand.
She wasn't naive enough to see past her mother's fake smile,
She could see her hurt from a mile.
Well, her mother got addicted to alcohol,
She drank herself into numbness each and every night.
She tried to hide it from her daughter because she couldn't,
And she knew it.
Her mother got so bad that she couldn't take it anymore.
She was diagnosed with cancer and that took the finally straw,
Her mother killed herself.
She was thrown into another home with no love it all.
She was treated like a stranger as she mourned
And she never felt at home.
She moved from house to house and always felt a bit worse.
School seemed to help her with her suffering.
Cognitionis, knowledge, she sought.
She fit at the back of the class with her head down low,
Listening as always,
Observing but never saying a thing.
Until she got to middle school...
That's when the bullying started and it came on strong.
She survived for a while.
Hiding her emotions with a smile and pretending to be alright.
She made fun of herself and laughed through the hurt.
She cried herself to sleep every night
And wished it would go away
But it didn't...
She got to high school and it got even worse.
The hate came on stronger than ever before.
She lost lots of friends and her virginity to a whore.
She thought it was the best choice of her life.
She went deeper into depression.
Then she met another boy.
He took away the pain.
He didn't push her at all.
He wanted her and her and nothing else at all.
They dated for a while.
But she broke up with him.
The rumors got so bad that she couldn't stay strong.
She tried with all her heart and her heart destroyed her mind.
Her life was just a sad song on repeat all the time.
She couldn't get it to end.
Her peers started hurting her more and more.
They couldn't see that the damage left scars.
She's weak,
Yet she pretends to be strong.
She trades her feelings for peace,
Yet is met with a gun.
She is wounded at heart and she's stuck with a hole.
That hole is black and empty like the darkest night,
The creaks of the wind cause such a fright.
She hides under the covers and pretends to be alright.
She lies to herself and says she'll be okay.
But they don't see her suffering,
They don't see her pain.
And they don't stay silent,
They let her fall apart.
Maybe because she tells them she's alright,
And lies through her heart.
Her heart is like a sponge,
And the hurt absorbs.
She tries to push it away,
but she struggles more.
She's falling down and with one final blow,
She hits the ground.
The ground is cold and hard,
Like her heart now,
But she doesn't care because she's fallen apart.
And she's turning reckless,
She's in distress.
She's crying out for help because she's a mess.
She's isolated, alone, all by herself.
And they push her farther,
Make her question her life.
She pushes away others.
Isolates herself and tries another way to cope,
She grabs a knife from the sink
And wonders about putting it to her throat.
She pulls up her sleeve and looks at her skin.
She drags the knife along it and she feels the sting.
Red starts to appear,
The idea of self-harm no longer queer.
She continues to cut and she finally stops.
She knows she has to or else she'll drop.
She wants to cope, not to kill herself.
She knows her 'family' would be devastated without their monthly check.
If they even cared at all.
But they're all caught up in their own affairs,
That they probably wouldn't care.
She drops the knife in the sink and she runs upstairs.
Into the bathroom,
She falls down to the toilet and throws open the cover.
She barely puts it up before she vomits.
She goes to the sink and looks in the mirror,
"What have you done to yourself?" She asks her reflection with a sigh.
She wipes the vomit from around her mouth and still hasn't cried.
She washes off the blood and covers it up.
The empty feeling in her stomach from all of the above.
The next day she goes back to school.
She's quiet, she hides her face.

The burning of her cut wrist makes her feel disgraced.
They leave her alone,
She hopes that change is here to stay.
But they start again,
They'll never be friends.
And you know that they keep going,
because she hides the scars.
She keeps cutting herself because it relieves the pain.
They drained her joyful spirit and delivered all the pain.
They keep on going until she can't take it anymore.
She thinks about suicide more and more.
Suicide's for coward,
But she thinks that that's wrong.
Because if she was such a coward would she still hide all the pain?
They don't know what she's gone through,
How far she's faded away.
She continues to cut over the scars
But she's starting to need more.
She always wears long sleeves to hide her ugly scars.
Her entire arms are covered,
She doesn't know what to do.
She moves down to her thighs and says.
"Oh well, I just they'll do too."
She moves to cut her thighs before she falls asleep.
She's lucky no one's home.
She finally wakes up and still wishes herself dead. 
They say they care about her but she doesn't think that's so.
Because if they did they wouldn't make her feel like this.
They continue to hurt her,
They never stop,
They drop bombs on her heart and more scars for her soul.
They push her to the point of no return.
They isolate her more that she ever could.
The knife isn't enough to sustain her anymore...
She goes to her closet and opens the door,
She turns on the light and says,
"I'm done with this stupid life and everything else. I'm always bullied and I question myself. I know I'm not worth it, I'm not fighting anymore."
She grabs a piece of paper and scribbles out a note.
She places it on her bed with her heart lodged in her throat.
She's made up her mind and there's no turning back.
She grabs rope from the garages and hopes to make it her friend.
She goes back to the closet and ties up a knot.
She suspends it from the ceiling and makes sure that the rope's strong.
She slips it over her head and tightens the knot.
She kicks out the chair and grabs for her neck,
She feels her sorry life fading like her breath.
She waiting for the cold grips,
Also known as death.
It finally comes and she takes her last breath.
"Maybe they'll be sorry once they find out that I'm dead..."